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Please explain this to me!!

Okay my Dh and I had some problems a few years ago. He wanted a divorce, etc. So at the time I was working and there was a man there that I had some interest in. And because my Dh is the only man I've ever been with, I acted like a school girl with a crush. No, I didn't hound him, more like I avoided him, or if we had to work together, I blushed, giggled, etc. Sorry, I honestly couldn't act any better. Anyhow, everyone knew I had this crush. Everyone! Now, I had a friend who is quite a few years younger than me. I was 31 or so at the time, so she was about 24. She kept trying to get us together. Now, I know this gentlemen is a very good man. So I knew that there was no way until a divorce was final. Anyhow, Dh and I ended up back together, and we are happy. But my friend, (whom I don't speak to regularly) just found me on Facebook and sent me a "suggestion" to add him! I won't, becuase that's stupid.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Jul. 2, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Because you had a crush and crushes are fun! Your brain releases dopamine which gives you a bit of rush when you do/think something that is *risky* and you still get that reaction when thinking of him. It's very normal. I got that rush when I first made out with my husband and even though I don't get that feeling when kissing him now, I still get it when I think of that first night :)

    Answer by psugal at 10:07 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • But why after all this time, (three years!) do I still get that huge smile on my face, a hitch in my breathing just thinking about him talking to him again? Don't get me wrong, I can think of him without any problem, its just having a contact to him, that's the trigger. Like I said, I know I won't do anything, and I will ignore the suggestion and tell her to desist. But why the reaction???

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • Oh, said gentlemen also returned the interest back then. It wasn't one sided.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • It's just that whole "you want what you can't have thing." You enjoy the thrill of the chase probably. Enjoy the excitement because it's new or different. It's totally normal as long as you don't act on it. This gentleman can be a nice "fantasy" for you, but the reality is you're married and therefore unavailable. Don't make contact with him. That would just be adding fuel to the fire.....

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 11:04 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • It's a crush. Crushes are fun. I don't see a problem in adding him unless your husband is the jealous type.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:34 AM on Jul. 3, 2009