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My boyfriend has a five year-old foster child that he keeps out until ten or eleven at night five days a week. He is a prestigious public figure and they are at chic events and dinners, etc. It makes me nuts but he won't listen to me. I have two daugthers, 6 and 9, and they are in bed by 8:30 every night. Am I wrong to be so upset?

Not too much more to say. My boyfriend of 50 decided he wanted to take in a foster child, and he wanted to do it all alone. He doesn't take any of my advice; just wants to live his life with the child in tow. It outrages me. What do you guys think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Jul. 2, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • I would be upset too. The kid deserves to have a normal night time routine. I completely agree with you.
    cdecker83

    Answer by cdecker83 at 11:47 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • Are u sur he is not a PEDIFILE? I dont think this sounds right- have u talked to the child to ask what they do when they r alone? I think I would make a annoynomous call to social services just to make sure that they check into this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • It might be okay for right now with no school if the child is allowed to sleep in or nap, but kids do need a lot of sleep. And once school starts that child will need to be on a more normal routine, earlier bedtime, normal mealtimes, etc. And how is the child expected to behave, is s/he allowed to be a 5 year old or are they adult events where more is expected. If he needs to make public appearances then get a babysitter, or leave early.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 11:50 PM on Jul. 2, 2009

  • I think he thinks it helps his public image to have the foster child and to be seen with him in public. Sounds like just a political ploy to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • no, I don't agree. what's their morning schedule, is the kid allowed to sleep as late as he wishes in the AM? the only thing that matters, or that the kid "deserves" is an adequate amount of sleep. what time that stops and starts is irrelevant.
    autodidact

    Answer by autodidact at 1:29 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Are u sur he is not a PEDIFILE? I dont think this sounds right- have u talked to the child to ask what they do when they r alone? I think I would make a annoynomous call to social services just to make sure that they check into this.


     


    oh, for f*ck's sake. yes, everyone who keeps non-conventional hours is a perv, you've discovered our secret.

    autodidact

    Answer by autodidact at 1:31 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • I have a confession to make. Anonymous? Yes but a confession still. My 3 and 5 yr old don't have bedtimes. **Gasp** They're well-rounded healthy kids. My 5 yr old is a bit shy and has a bit of a temper sometimes but that's his personality. Anyway...
    I don't think the time is as much of an issue as the way he's spending time with the child. If they're going to be up "that late" he should be spending quality time with the child after he's been in daycare all day; not at public events meant for adults... which is how I take it. That sounds like a good bit of pressure for a little guy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Wow........I have a hard time believing that the state would give a 50 year old man a female 5 year old foster child. Thats just strange...........
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 7:13 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • that is concidered child neglect. he is neglecting the needs of this child. at 5 years old they need more sleep in order to develope their brains properly. if reported and investigated he could very well loose custody and go through a court trial, and be put on a child neglect list
    loram111

    Answer by loram111 at 10:00 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • He has to be up by eight to get to daycare by nine. So he gets about nine hours of sleep, whichknow is not enough. He just turned five. But what really bothers me is the lack of home life, stability, quiet, routine.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

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