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My 13 year old son is in trouble how do i deal with this?

I have a 13 year old boy that has got in to trouble with the law for trying to to get a girl almost 12 to have sex.Let me start by saying i am the one that reported it to the police and now he is getting help for his problemwith his obcession with sex - not only did he try it with a girl he tried it with a boy! I really felt that i had no other choice but to turn him in. It is not like he is a monster and forced them to do anything. But he has a problem and now i have one coping with it. I still suport him and go and vist and write to him take his phone calls it is just really hard and i stay depressed all the time and i take meds for that already. I geuss what i want to know is it normal to still miss him alot and cry all the time? he has been in detention for 2 months already.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Jul. 3, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • There has to be a reason the boy thinks this is ok. Was your son moletsted? I also have a son this age and to be curious is normal but to be in this type of trouble is not normal. What kind of detention is he in? Is a mental health care? That would be the type of help this young man needs.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 12:41 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Yes ma'am. You are perfectly normal to have these feelings. My son is in detention right now too...for the 2nd time. He's been in foster care for running away for almost a year now. My child has mental illness on top of it all. All we can do as mother's is get them the help that they need and sometimes that means making really hard decisions. They MUST be responsible for their actions. Hopefully they can learn these hard lessons while they are minors and before it could create a public record. KWIM?
    MamaJen74

    Answer by MamaJen74 at 12:44 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Yes it is normal to miss him all the time, he is your son. This is a hard position to be in I'm sure you already know, but the thing is to be as strong as you can be at this point in time. He needs you now more than ever and you need to be there, at the same time you need to show him that this was not right. So step back, and let the authorities handle this situation for awhile. He will once again be yours to take care of, but you need to be in a right state of mind to guide him. When he is out, have a talk with him about how you will be there for him, but he must try and make right choices in his life. Counselign will not hurt him, in fact he sounds like he can use some. Keep in mind that all teens have to deal with sexual feelings and that this is what he chose. There are other ways he can deal with these feelings without others getting hurt. Counseling can help him deal with this.
    Amy1022

    Answer by Amy1022 at 8:32 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • What a strong mother you are to give your son the help he needs. Yes, its normal to miss your child, bc no matter how old they get and no matter how bad they screw up, they are still our kids.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 8:35 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • You are a strong mom to do this. Your son needed help, you seen this and you got him the help he needs. Hopefully, he will do what he is being taught. You showed how much you love and care about your child. Just keep being there for him, he still needs his mom. If he isn't recieving it in detention, get him into counseling when he comes home or suggest it to the staff. Counseling for you and your family may also be a good idea.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:27 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • boysunderattack.com is a wonderful site for your son to read and see questions about appropriate sexuality.

    dont overreact - just teach him - dont make him think he is a sexual predator because if you do he may become one. he is just a littleboy becoming a man who needs a lot of guidance.

    Love him!
    einubermommy

    Answer by einubermommy at 11:51 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • I agree something must have happened in his past you should try to sort thru that. It would help him if he got that off his chest. You need to prosecute whoever molested him. We love our kids no matter what and no child is perfect!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

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