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How can we get a 12 yo. Girl to stop exposing Herself and rebelling at home?

My Sisters stepdaughter just turned 12. Her Mom is passed away, so My Sis. and Her DH. are raising her now, for the last year. She wont take orders at home, she does ok in school. but at home She leaves Her door open a little in her bedroom and the bathroom when she is changing or showering even when visitors are there. My boyfriend saw her walk out w/ only a towel on, and remove it in her room w/ the door wide open, knowing He was sitting across the hall in the next room watching her We have all talked to her and disciplined her, but she keeps doing it, saying she forgot to close the door, they have no other kids but a 10yo. male cousin visits sometimes and Shes done it w/ him there too. Its getting embarasing for them. thanks.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:35 AM on Jul. 3, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • hmm...take away a priveledge or cell phone etc. she'll learn eventually...thats odd tho most girls that age wouldnt want a male to see theirbody
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 2:21 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • She is acting out because of her mother's passing I would be willing to bet. Close the doors behind her, make a point of it. Let her know she needs to be more modest and it is not acceptable to behave his way. Were her parents very open? It may just be old habit, she will be ok. Good Luck and God Bless!
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 8:09 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Why doesn't someone put her in counseling? She is still dealing with the death of her mother. Do NOT take things away, she needs patience and understanding. Maybe she is keeping the door open because she needs to see people, she could be afraid that if she closes the door the people will be gone to not return? Kids grief much differently than adults.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:20 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Make it known that the issue is about her self respect and her privacy, as well as for the comfort and respect of others in the house. She may be rebelling, but some of this may just be absent mindedness. You may want to bring in another adult authority figure to talk with her who is not connected to the problem to help her understand. Good luck to all of you.
    artC1s

    Answer by artC1s at 4:13 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Thank You all for the advice, Ive already told them She needs some counciling, Thanks again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • I wouldn't punish her for not shutting the door, but I would teach her about privacy. Counseling is the way to go....for everyone. She needs sensitivity. She may be testing the situation, making sure she is welcome. She needs to know she is really part of the family.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 12:57 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • She may also honestly not really understand what the big deal is. I rem. at aroun that age my parents making a big deal about how I needed to put on shorts when my cousins came over and be concious about privacy etc.
    and honestly I just didn't understand why... they told me it was inapp. and that it was a privacy thing but I did not realize what it was all about.
    I was COMPLETELY clueless.
    In this case i'd set it as a rule, I'd take into consideration how things may have been at mom's house, and seriously she just lost her mom -- counseling is obvious (for the whole family).
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:16 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

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