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Is it ok that my husband wants to hang out with the guys every weekend?

Almost every husband wants to go to his friend's place to have a few drinks. He doesn't come home until well after 1am. They drink with just 2 or 3 of them. Some nights they go out to happy hour. Sometimes they go to the club. I don't know how to take it anymore. He says he just needs to balance his life with family and friends. Its only the night time that he goes out. during the day its all family time. But, i still feel uneasy about it. Like he's just not that in to me...even tho we have a normal sex life. I just feel like he's missing being single with his friends. Or is this normal? and I'm paranoid?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:18 AM on Jul. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It sounds as though he is doing as he said, balancing his life. He enjoys being with his friends, he isn't neglecting his family, it sounds pretty good. It would seem to be a good idea to send him off to visit his friends with a smile and a hug and to welcome him home the same way.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:44 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • No that is not normal.I married man should not be partying like he is single.My husband wanted to start doing that to me just recently.He wanted to start going out and leaving me home with the kids while he parties.I put a quick stop to that.You have to sit down and have a talk to him.The coming home after 1am is not healthy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • It's okay if it's okay with you. If you're not okay with it, then it's not okay and you need to talk about it.

    Personally, I don't have a problem with my husband going out with friends, but if he it every weekend, I would have a problem with it. Once or twice a month is okay, more than that, and it infringes on our family time. And we don't get enough of that anyway.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 7:09 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Don't think too much into it. My dh does the same, not as frequent due to his work hours. But, I always know where he is if I need him, being pregnant and all it's a must. But, men need their time just as we do.

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 8:40 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • IMO, it's okay that he wants to spend time on the weekends with his friends and balancing out his life. But it's not okay that this revolves around drinking and staying out way late.

    Why doesn't he hang out with his friends during the day? Isn't there some activity they could do that doesn't involve lots of drinking?

    I'm all for catching up with friends, but when you choose the bar/club scene to do it, I think that's crossing the line...

    Talk to him and listen to what he has to say. Tell him your feelings in concrete terms. Ask if they could hang out during the day/evening so you could see him at night. Ask him why they choose bars/clubs. Etc.

    Answer by Mousuke at 1:55 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • when mine did this he was hiding a cocaine addiction. If I were you, I'd check up on him. Mine always needed guy time on the weekneds, then during the week, and so on and so on. Always an excuse, always a reasonable explaination......When I finally found out, it was almost too late. we were 80,000.00 in credit card debt from cash advances, and he went to 3 months of rehab. Then when he got out, he still had to pay off dealers so they wouldn't kill us all in our sleep. We both now work 2 jobs to try to get out of debt. If my credit wasn't shot, I'd leave him.

    Answer by Chefywife at 6:53 PM on Jul. 24, 2010

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