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Help. How do I handle.....

My 11 yr old DD is being caught in the crossfires of mine and my ex H parenting styles. He is trying to manipulate her at all costs, into his way of thinking, and tells her how to behave around me when she's with me. Since he only see's her 2 days/wk, he feels the need to have some control over her upbringing and feels this is the way to do it. Meanwhile, I tiptoe around a girl who used to open up to me, who is now shutting me out and ignoring me. Any advice on how I can reverse this and get her to open up to me again?

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:09 AM on Jul. 3, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (5)

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:24 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Family counseling for you and your daughter.

    Answer by mary_allbright at 11:09 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • The three of you need to sit down with a family counselor.

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:09 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • The ex husband is never going to go to counseling. You need to go to counseling with your daugher alone. In the meantime, you need to be firm and put your foot down with both of them. Period Don't back down. This is not a time to be passive. You tell the ex husband that you have your rules in YOUR house. If he can't abide by them then he'll have to take her FULL time, caring for her, clothing her, feeding her, taking her to school, etc. You tell your daughter the same. She either listens to you in your house or she can move in with her father. I know this sounds horrible.. but I promise you, even if they call your bluff, it won't last. I've done it and it works. This is nothing more than him trying to get back at your and she's just trying to manipulate you. Take control and don't allow either one to continue or this will keep going until she's an adult.

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 11:04 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I agree with the counciling group'

    Answer by incarnita at 4:27 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

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