Birthmothers to Adoption... would you do an egg donation for the AP?

My son was adopted to a single male Dr. for open adoption. He says he wants another child so our son can have a sibling. He asked me for DNA reasons. I would carry but my pregnacies are numbered due scaring. What would you do?

PS Im going to go forward with this... I just wanted to see what you have to say... UPs and DOWNs please

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Asked by Thaifalung20 at 5:43 AM on Jul. 3, 2009 in Adoption

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There is one thing that you will have to think long and hard about; There will be more than one of your eggs fertilized. Now you have to worry about where the others will go. Some people donate them for "snowflake" adoption. I personally have a big problem with that because as I said before and as the pp pointed out, donor concieved people often have issues and have a harder time than adoptees finding their identity. You can have them disposed of, but that's like aborting them. Then of course adad could have more of them implanted into a surrogate to enlarge his family further. Either way I strongly suggest that you make sure that you make sure they are your legal property.

Answer by onethentwins at 2:18 PM on Jul. 8, 2009
Credits: 12124 Level 21 Adoption Minor

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ur eggs are worth at least 10k...if u search t he web women pay so much money for that and to have you carry the baby. u shud research that before u make ur choice

Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 AM on Jul. 3, 2009

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I would sell him my eggs and he would have to find a surrogate to carry.

Answer by matthewscandi at 10:57 AM on Jul. 3, 2009
Credits: 27801 Level 26 Adoption Minor

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Most likely yes. I would have to think about this one a lot more before I made a final decision. I am almost positive I would be a surrogate for someone. But I am unsure if I would want to use my own eggs for that process. But, I would be comfortable donating my eggs to be placed in someone else. Good luck with your decision. It is a lot to think about.

Answer by VanessaV at 3:54 PM on Jul. 3, 2009
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People born of sperm/egg donors have an even harder time than adoptees to find their roots. Presumably adad is the sperm donor so that wouldn't be an issue, and so I might, otherwise no.

I was determined my son wouldn't be an only child, which is the reason why my #1 qualification for adoptive parents was that they had adopted already. But, since you have such an open adoption your son will have siblings anyway; the subsequent children you have.

Answer by onethentwins at 4:16 PM on Jul. 3, 2009
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What would I do? I would say "NO".....not in a million years would I agree to it. It is not your job to keep supplying children or even eggs to this person. I find the whole idea distasteful.

Answer by Southernroots at 10:22 PM on Jul. 3, 2009
Credits: 2433 Level 16 Adoption Minor

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why don't you just do it the natural way with him, then you don't have to do all those shots.

Answer by staceynoel at 10:00 AM on Jul. 4, 2009
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omg sorry, but rofl to staceynoel :]

Answer by lillie023 at 3:11 PM on Jul. 4, 2009
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Pros: Your son gets to grow up with his bio brother, it is a very generous thing to do, egg donation is alot easier than pregnancy, you can make some money. If you say no, it is likely that your son will be given a brother or sister that he is not biologically linked to and you'd avoid that.

Cons: Most egg donation places will not allow you to donate unless you yourself are done with your desire to have children. Sounds like you are not. What if you produce a bunch of eggs, will you donate them all, egg donation requires a lot of hormones which you are putting in your body.

Good luck, if nothing else, it sounds like you have a relationship that is open enough that he can even ask, that is a positive.

Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

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Hahaha.. yeah do it the 'natural way' to avoid shots.. all you'll have to deal with is the emotional ride of losing, yet, another child.

I agree with Southernroots. it is NOT your responsibility to supply them children.

Answer by rainfalls at 12:34 AM on Jul. 6, 2009
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