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what would you say to him

ok my ex and his wife have a rule that when they get our 3 kids something for birthday or christmas or their family gets them something it has to stay at their house even if its money then of course they never see it again but now they are getting a divorce and ex is over the road truck driver who bunks at sisters house when hes in and all the clothes and stuff the kids had at his house is now sitting in a storage building. He sees them maybe once a month. Now he is wanting to have my son and daughter a B.D party since they had one in june at his sisters house tomorrow he said. He told my daughter the same rules still apply as they did when he was with his wife. He keeps all their stuff and the kids will be disappointed again. They are 16 and 11 and dont even want a b.d party from him. Ive told him this is stupid and not right but he thinks it is. if it was you, what would you say to him?

Answer Question
 
heavenlypeace

Asked by heavenlypeace at 12:10 PM on Jul. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I would tell him that the kids don't want a second party, and that you will not be making them go.

    Then I would let him know he is more than welcome to join you at your house for their next birthday, and leave it at that.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:13 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • yes but even if he came to my house for the party he would take their present back with him even if it means it will stay in his big rig because he is selfish i guess i dont know what his problem is
    heavenlypeace

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 12:20 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Let him have the second party. He may need this now with his life being disrupted. What have the children got to lose- a couple hours? I'd let him do it. It is the kind and generous thing to do.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 12:25 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • My ex was like that...my daughter is 8 and it was always so disappointing for her. I let my daughter talk to her dad---she told him she wanted to take her toys home so she could play with them more...she added that they reminded them of him when she played with them...

    He still didnt let her bring her gifts home-so she quit going. I refused to put my child through that. I think it was something he did to try to get back @ me.

    That probaly didnt help you much...but @ 16 and 11 maybe their words will have more value.
    Good luck!
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 12:25 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Just let the kids know not to get their hopes up about being able to keep the gifts. I don't see the problem of the gifts staying at his house as long as it is "his" house. But he is an over the road driver and it would be selfish on his part to take back the gifts the kids get since they are for the "kids". If the kids don't want a party then tell him that they are too old for parties but he is welcome to come over to see them at your house.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 12:26 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • LOL. That's stupid. That's exactly how my ex's parents are. Everything they buy the kids is really 'theirs' has to stay @ their house!! Even clothes!! I just laugh about it. I've even told grandma if your going to do that then please make sure when the kids are over there the clothes that they were wearing when they went over there come home with them. I just tell the kids. Grandma dosen't want you taking it home with you. Some people just act so stupid about it. Like it's not even a gift for the kids if they can't take it with them!!
    jfblaine

    Answer by jfblaine at 1:33 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • My little granddaughters dad is the same way. She is only 5 and no matter what she gets for holidays she cannot bring it home. She lives with her mom and we allow her to take anything she wants to when she spends time with him.
    nana2u10

    Answer by nana2u10 at 1:43 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

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