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Pregnancy as unrealistic escape from life?

I wanted a baby as a teen because I felt empty and depressed. I never got pregnant though, good thing. Again, at times when life seems to be in the dumps, I think about getting pregnant.

Besides for seeking financial or keeping a man, is it often that women seek unrealistic happiness through pregnancy?



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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Jul. 3, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Answers (9)
  • I think there are lots of young women who get pregnant to fill voids in their lives. Whether it's to keep/trap a man, or get unconditional love. Problem is, babies grow up, men leave, and you're left with the responsibilities, and likely become less "attractive" to a better man or professional opportunity.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • this is interesting. A girl I went to elementary with was depressed in her teen years. She has always had depression (had a tough childhood). She thought a baby would cure it instead of trying to work through her issues first. She did end back up on anti depressants after the baby was born. She looks awful. She can't weigh more than 100 lbs, very pale. So sad. So in answer to your question, yes.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 7:08 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • "I think there are lots of young women who get pregnant to fill voids in their lives. Whether it's to keep/trap a man, or get unconditional love. Problem is, babies grow up, men leave, and you're left with the responsibilities, and likely become less "attractive" to a better man or professional opportunity."

    Odd, because this girl's status is always "I am so blessed to have a baby girl that loves me so much" or that "loves me no matter what". She has had alot of bad relationships with guys, even her dad signed his rights away to his mom. She just has had alot of rejection and I think she knows her baby will love her no matter what. I don't think you should bring a baby into the world with that burden. To make YOU happy.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 7:11 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • OP here,

    Having a baby will destroy me. I'm just thinking in retrospect. I see a lot of (young & mid-aged) single mothers that are grouped together, that their lives are a mess. I just wonder that because I went through this mindset, that it is common for others to experience too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Not every person should be a parent. People who have children for the same weak reasons as people who enter marriages will fail. Unfortunately, those kids will suffer. There is no shame in being honest and admitting that you do not want to be a parent. It's actually a nobler and more kind, definitely unselfish thing to do.

    Find what fulfills you in life. A child should never carry that burden for anyone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • it seems like ppl these days are in a rush. most ppl in their early 20s already have kids. there also seems to be a race to see who can have the most kids the quickest. its not right. i know so many women who do not care about their children. they only care about their "proven fertility" and then, when the 4th baby is born, is tossed off to the side as her priorities are not her children.
    I think ppl generally think that the more kids you have, you are a loving, caring, attentive parent. Yet, if ppl see a couple with only one child, that couple is selfish and materialistic and not into kids. Again I can't tell you how many times I've seen women despise their own children, yet keep having more just because they have a uterus. Its sick.
    op, kudos to you for being honest and true to yourself. kids are not for everyone! you may feel differently later on in life . Either way, you are a smart person!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • I know of three different people that did this. One got pregnant with her second child to try to keep her cheating, alcoholic husband around. It didn't do any good and when she was in the hospital recovering he was out drinking with his friends. Another woman got pregnant with her third child to try to repair her marriage as well. The guy was cheating on her and still did after the baby was born. The third girl got pregnant to keep her boyfriend. They are all miserable and seem to resent their children now. It's sad for the women and for their children. More women should be honest with themselves as to the reason they want to get pregnant before thinking about having kids.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Hmmm... Great question really. I always felt, after having children, that being a mom was something the world gives us an entirely unrealistic view of as young women. Seriously, I never considered using my breasts for feeding a child until I was in my 20s. But you'd better believe I understood their other purpose before that. It's sad the way we approach young women these days.


    As far as having a child to escape as a teen... Idk. For me it was the opposite... I had no desire because I didn't value what I could provide for a child... I'll think on this one and post again tomorrow :P

    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 10:40 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • OP--if you don;t have any children, why are you on CafeMOM?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

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