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not sure where to post this one, but I wanted some opinions...

My hubby is bringing his son, who is 3, back here for the first visit since we have been married. We have been married for a while, but hubby is military and son lives with his bio-mom 5,000 miles away. I am pregnant with hubby's second, my first. His son knows this already and understands as much as a 3 year old can that this will be his baby brother or sister. I would be lying if I said I didn't hope to hear him call me mom someday, but I am not going to ask him to or push it in any way. What would you do in my shoes?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Jul. 3, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (13)
  • I would never have him call me that since his mother is in the picture. Even if he does on his own you should correct him by saying step mommy.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Just let him lead the way. Never make him feel obligated to say one thing over another and try not to ever make him feel bad for saying one thing over another.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • I also want to add, don't be surprised when his MOM is pissed for allowing her child to call you mommy.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • I agree with anon 4:26.
    It would be hurtful to his bio-mom to hear her baby call another woman "mom". Regardless of how you or your hubby feel about bio-mom, the right thing to do is to find another name he can call you.

    Here is a post on the subject at The Wicked Stepmom:

    http://wickedstepmom.blogspot.com/2006/04/stepmom-names-few-suggestions.html

    timelessglass

    Answer by timelessglass at 7:37 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • He already has a mom. Why confuse the poor kid just to boost your own self-esteem? That seems cruel, selfish and irresponsible to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • i dont thinki would push it.is he living with you or just visiting?if he is just visiting he will know you are not his real mother.but if your husband has custody than let it happen on its own.
    nana77500

    Answer by nana77500 at 7:42 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • op- ok, sounds like a couple of you missed the part where I said I wasn't going to ask him to call me mom or push him into it. Whatever he decides to call me is up to him, but I would be lying to say that hearing him call me mom wouldn't make me happy. And as far as his mom goes, it's not like we are best friends, but neither of us has a problem with the other. In fact she was the first person to give hubby and I anything for our baby that's on the way. So if she was hurt or angry over her son's decision to call me anything other than my given name, then we would definitley work with her to find something she is more comfortable with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Trust me, you may get along but IF that issue comes up, there will be a problem. JUST correct him, do NOT allow it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • How about Mama (insert name here), such as Mama Beth, or Mama Linda. This way you get the Mama as well as have it different from his biological mother.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:45 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Children will usually decide on their own what they want to call someone. It's important how we make them feel. If you show them love and respect. They in turn will show it back. Don't ever try and force the issue one way or the other. When my son started school they asked who his mommy was? His response was simple. I have 2 mommies. Mommy #1 and Mommy#2. Because that's how he seen it. I was mommy #2 even though I am his bio mom. He thought of my mom as mommy#1.

    Red54

    Answer by Red54 at 7:46 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

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