Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

breastfeeding and court for my ex to have visitation..

so here is my situation:
i just gave birth a month ago to my son. i am exclusively breastfeeding, and his father is taking us to court this thursday for visitation. i don't really mind if he gets visitation, afterall he is his father, i mean i don't agree with a lot of things he does in his life but that doesn't mean he won't make a good father.. but anyways.. obviously because i am just breastfeeding i have a decent milk supply but not enough to sit there and pump for a days worth of milk for my son to have at his fathers. i DO NOT want him to have formula; what should i say/do? help!!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Jul. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I would start to pump between feedings to help increase your supply and once you have some for the baby to go visit for a few hours then I think that that should be sufficient. I don't think that a newborn should go overnight to a home unless you can provide a sufficient amount of milk for that to happen. Just make it clear to the judge that you are breastfeeding and don't want the baby to have formula and most of them will respect your decision. I wish you luck.

    Answer by coala at 9:18 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Most judges won't authorize overnight visits for newborns. That being said, you can't use breastfeeding as a way to keep your ex from having overnight visitation in the future. So if he's serious about having the baby for overnight visits in the future, you need to prepare yourself. You'll have to buy a pump and some bottles, and your ex can give it to the baby on their visits. It's way more important for a child to have a relationship with his/her father than to be exclusively breastfed. What is your child going to remember when he's older? That mom breastfed him, or that he had great times with his father? YOU think about that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • anon 9:11 - at a month old I don't think the baby's memories will be that abundant whether mom breastfeeds or dad takes him to the ball game!

    can you freeze breastmilk? If so, start pumping extra now and you'll provide enough for the baby until he can come home.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:03 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • I think the visitation should be limited for right now. You are trying to establish a good breast feeding routine with your Child. Exclusive BF will come before Overnight visits... Honestly I have a four month old and after a while of exclusive bf I can only produce 1-2 oz. each time I pump ( which is normal).. Right now at one month your supply is over abundant but that will change! I suggest a VERY good electric pump ( medela) if you are going to try to pump.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Start pumping now. You can freeze your milk. Or offer the guest room and allow him to stay with you on his visits.

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:51 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.