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Would you be upset.

I'm so beyond frustrated right now!!!! Here is the situation my husband approached me 2 months ago with wanting to buy a truck mount for his van due to the fact that he is a carpet cleaner he makes good money the price for the first one was 25,000 right now we don't have the extra funds to make this purchase so his boss told him that he had a truck mount for 6,000 and a van he could put it in for 1,500 I told him again that we don't have the money for this he already has a new machine and my father gave us a loan less than a year ago to buy a van. He kept asking and asking I told him look you make the choice but I think we should pay dad off first then buy the truck mount he didn't want to wait and decided to buy it. So I asked him at least let a mechanic look at the van and the system so we are not blindsided by anything My father told him I will go look at it.

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raurismomma07

Asked by raurismomma07 at 9:55 PM on Jul. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Level 8 (245 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Here is the rest.........But he decided to buy it anyway so now less than a week later we have to spend over 1600 just to fix the van I'm so pissed and my husband is just refusing to talk about it. He says why would I take a mechanic to look at it I already knew what was wrong with it. why didn't you at least take my advice into consideration now the stupid van runs but we have to pay all this money and pray it dosent break down so now we have to additional bills to pay.....
    raurismomma07

    Answer by raurismomma07 at 9:55 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Hun, he's a man.
    You have the right to be upset as you have other prior duties to be taking care of. But like a typical man, they don't think too far ahead like that. My SO is the same way and after his plan blows up in his face, then my advice is concidered.
    Trying writing up a budget of money you're oging to be spending with the possibility of the van breaking down and having to fix it, and then show him one if he just gets it looked at.
    Sometimes on paper both parties have a better grasp at the issue at hand.
    =)
    DesignerMom0801

    Answer by DesignerMom0801 at 10:14 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • yeah id be pi$$ed! it drives me crazy when my boyfriend makes stupid decisions without me.
    he spent all his tax money this year on a peice of $h!+ truck and it doesnt even run now. i told him it was a stupid idea but he didnt listen. we argued about that one for months!! men are just so damn stupid.
    Jessaroo1987

    Answer by Jessaroo1987 at 10:15 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Well it's done and there's no use beating a dead horse. You will only bring more problems into your marriage and in the big picture of things ~ remember your husband is trying to improve and make a good living for his family~you. He knows that some problems happened, but he is a grown man, not a child and you don't need to keep on at him about it. I bet he's beating himself up. But he's not accusing you of causing it because he wasn't allowed to buy a new one, now is he? See how this could spin out of control? and You are his wife, to be beside him,not his mother to teach and chide him.
    best of luck to your family and the future. I really hope it all gets better. I am not trying to be mean, but I'm just blunt and call it like I see it. Best to you!
    Arione

    Answer by Arione at 10:18 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • As far as being like his mother Im not what I told him was that he should speak to his boss who sold him the van and see if he would take some money off of it due to the fact that we already have to put so much money into it. I feel like I do have to kee an eye on him he dosent discuss money matters he just spends it then tells me It gets frustrating because I know he is trying to provide for us Thats why I told him you make the choice about the van but to not even take my father or someone to look at it thats why im ticked I would rather know than be Blindsided like we are now
    raurismomma07

    Answer by raurismomma07 at 10:49 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • I remember needing to buy food for us and our 3 kids and the moron x took the money to buy a tool that he MIGHT need "someday" bc it was a great deal. WTF are they thinking?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • I understand what you are saying. And I would be very upset too. But the problem is that you did give him the choice. And yes, it would have helped maybe to take someone. but what if your father went and didn't foresee that problem either? would you also be angry with him? I'm just saying, I know it's tough and yes, these things need to be worked out between you, but the blaming will cause more problems. You are too angry and it hurts you and your family. You can't change the fact that you will have to deal with the cost of the problem. but you can change your attitude. And later, when this isn't such a big issue between you, you should sit and talk money and budgets and make some agreements on how to handle such things.
    Arione

    Answer by Arione at 11:04 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • Remember you and your husband are in this together~ a team. You need to be on each other's side and not fighting against each other.
    Arione

    Answer by Arione at 11:06 PM on Jul. 3, 2009

  • I always get sidetracked by details of these questions instead of the main point. Like I keep thinking why do they have to pay off her father? He didn't just give you the money? That's bothering me more then the fact that your husband bought a piece of crap of a van.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:48 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • jeez do i need to give him a swift kick in the shin? men do weird thing and i think we'll never understand their reasons for it. i cant comment much cuz im not married but i do know that u and him DO work as a team and u DONT try to be his mother and ya'll have BEEN IN THIS TOGETHER from the get go. and u HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY AND IT DOES NOT HURT UR FAMILY (rolls eyes) and ur attitude is just fine. UR not acting childish
    TxPunkChk

    Answer by TxPunkChk at 2:04 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

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