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if i went to massage therapy school.. but now i am sahm to

our toddler.. do i owe the dh a massage...yes i should give him on to promote his health like weekly and the feet twice a week mybe 15 min TIme.. and like thirty min.. massage once a week.. we cant afford for me to get perfonissonal massage. and i like rubbing hubby down..but sometime he throws in face that seven yeaRS Ago he paied my through massage therapy school.. the schooling was like five grand and now im not using the schooling he paied for while being with our child.. thoughts on a reasonable in between for the both of us.. and he sucks and wont massage me atall.. but thats i ok bc not every has strong hands. and he says his hands hurt after two min... thoughts?????

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:57 AM on Jul. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • maybe a massage for him every two weeks?

    I think it's a bit mean to throw it in your face that he paid for massage school. JMO though.

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 3:59 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • He sounds whiny. How much did you work after the school? I'd just tell him that you already paid off the school during the time that you worked. I would make him give me a massage first, and then give him one. He sounds like he's being a jerk.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 3:59 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Your hubby sounds like an asshole. I hate when someone does something to help in my education and then throws it in my face tell him to sit and spin on he's finger. Maybe you should give it right back to him. Or find a new hubby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Yeah, that sucks, now I feel bad. I have a male friend who did nothing with his life until he was 32! I mean he never went to school or had a job. I used to pay him to come and do handyman work. Well, he started hitting on me and I had always liked him. One day I gave him the longest lecture ever about how I could never be with someone who doesn't work and so on. Long story short, he ended up studying to be a masseuse and was offered a BETTER job by a client. I tend to feel entitled to the occasional shoulder massage the 5-6 times a year I see him. Sorry,lol. We both laugh about it because he told me that if I had never been so brutally honest with him he would have never gotten his butt in gear. Now as for your husband! He needs to just chill. He helped you because he loves you. Not because he wanted to be pampered.


    Answer by Gigi1969 at 4:27 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • It sounds like hubby has some pent up anger by saying that to you. I'd fish around for the truth and try to resolve what's bothering him. Maybe he feels overwhelmed with being the sole provider. Perhaps you can get work during the weekends. Aren't spas more busy during the weekends than during the week?

    Answer by mschanng at 6:30 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I have a friend in TX who went to massage therapy school, then right after she finished they found out she was pregnant. For her birthday after their son was born, her hubby got her a massage table and she saw clients right at home in the evenings and weekends. She made a killing doing this in her "free time" (dh had the baby, he'd take him to the park or out for a walk when she had a client over).
    If you do that, and the next time your hubby is whining for a rubdown, tell him you can't because you "worked" today and are exhausted :-)

    Answer by plylerjones at 8:25 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • If you were working you would be massaging people all day. You aren't and he is. So yes you should be giving him massages daily. Especially if he has a manual labor job.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:33 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Well, would he rather you go to work and spend all your income on daycare/babysitting fees, or just allow you to stay home and raise your daughter yourself for free?

    When she's older, sure you can start a business, but right now, what's the point? You'd have to find a place to work, pay utility bills, rent, etc. on that. Buy all the massage stuff you need which I'm sure could get really expensive, and THEN pay the babysitters . So, actually, you'll owe a lot more money than you do now by staying at home taking care of your own child by yourself.
    Hmmmmmmm. unless you're super rich....sounds like a no brainer to me.
    You have a long life ahead of you to start a business from your schooling. Enjoy your daughter now.

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 11:57 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I haven't read the other posts, but my take is this: Break down what you'd have to pay for child care, extra gas, meals out or extra food for lunch if you did go back to work. Then also break down the price each thing you do for him is (laundry, child care, maid service) and tell him you've repaid that money a long time ago!! My DH and I had these issues once, he stopped once he realized how much I was really "worth" lol


    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:22 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

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