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Anyone heard of the "skinny mom" club??

My sister visiting from out of town told me about it tonight, and to be nice.... she sounded a little crazy. She claims that skinny, beautiful moms are only nice to each other and not to other moms who are overweight or don't fit the "beautiful mold" our society has. She says that moms at her kids playgroup, kindergarten, swimming classes, church, and at the park are not nice to her purely because she is "fat and ugly" (her words). Also she says they don't want their kids playing with hers because of the way she looks. She says they look down on her because they think she let herself go after she had kids. She thinks their opinion is women need to stay attractive for their husbands and that letting yourself get fat is worse than being a bad mom.
I have never heard of anything like this. Obviously I know women are catty and judgmental of each other. But this seems a bit extreme and maybe like it is all in my sis's head.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:08 AM on Jul. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • That does sound pretty weird. Although I am sure there are moms out there that do think and feel that way, it is not the majority. Most of us out grow that immature thinking in high school (if we even had it in the first place).

    What I think from reading this is that your sister has self esteem issues. She called herself fat and ugly, that is a red flag right there. What she perceives as women who are excluding her because they are "prettier" are probably women who are already friends or related. They most likely have no idea that your sister thinks this way about them and don't have any of the beliefs that she thinks they do.

    Your sister needs to work on building her own self esteem instead of putting others down to feel better about herself.


    Answer by AnnaMac at 4:22 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I'm by no means beautiful, but I am definitely very skinny, and I'd go as far as to say I'm cute. I have lots of friends who don't fit that mold. One of the girls I hang out with is actually a model, she's really gorgeous (I mean if you like that skinny, big boobs, gorgeous blonde look lol) and she seems to hang out with all different women.

    I've never met anyone who behaved this way (not outside of high school anyway). Sad if it's true.

    Answer by toriandgrace at 4:13 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I'd say its both esteem issues and they are treating her that way.

    She has esteem issues if she is calling herself names, but the playgroup I go to does the same thing. People pair off by looks, ages of kids and husbands ranks (military). There are these 3 ladies that go over and sit at a table and talk parties they have been to or are going to throw. They don't watch their kids while they are chatting. One of their kids attacked a 1 yr old little boy last week and this kid was like 4 even though the group is for 0-3 yrs old. The mom finally turned around to see the other mother consoling her child for the huge mark across his head and said did he do something? She said yes, he scratched across his eye and head. The mother just looked at her son and said "Timmy, we don't touch people." Then she turned back around to chat with her friends while little "timmy" went on to terrorize the other babies. The other mom left.

    Answer by VintageWife at 5:21 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • i ignore fat ugly people
    never have hung out with them

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:23 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • This does not sound crazy. Yes, in some circles I am in more over weight moms are not fitting in. The reason: they work out, run marathons, bike, and swim to keep fit and trim. I don't but I have also never been big. I admit that I am trying to start back running and swimming as well as yoga. I don't think that my friends intend to be a snob but I will say that sometimes when they are talking about their times they ran I get bored. I can't imagine how bad a mom struggling with weight might feel in a group that is so focused on weight and "health." It isn't about health. At least with several moms I know they have said they don't intend to get "fat." I have seen kids who are large, as in too much of the wrong foods, and I see their parents and understand why. Now that I think is very sad. I wouldn't ban my child from playing with an over weight child.

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:42 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • omg i am 50 yrs old and have seen this for years.i wouldnt call her fat and ugly but yes she doeshave the right idea.i am a member of a hea;th club but i also have asthma real bad.not an excuse so we have stopped eatting sugars.but still i am just not that great looking and my husband of 25 yrs sort of around about says so.there for i am not included. and where i live its all about compete on every level.i also think maybe its self esteem cause look at the way people are treating her.just look at some of your confirms it.

    Answer by nana77500 at 7:58 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I'm beautiful, tall and thin and people who think like the 'skinny moms' that your sister described make me sick.

    That goes for anon 6:23 as well.

    No, I have never heard of the skinny mom club. All my friends are different colors, heights, weights, personalities, ethnicities and religions. Without them, the world would be boring.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Um, yes this does happen. I would say that most mature women do not judge others based on their weight. I have to say though, if you "let yourself go", you will have many people who will look down on you and I think that husbands will agree, it is not a wise choice.

    Answer by jalex at 8:36 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Never heard it called that but do believe it exists. No different than the other "clubs" out there like the KKK club, or WHITE SUPREMACIST club or NAZI club....I think you get my drift.

    No matter who you are, what you believe, we are part of some kind of club!!

    Answer by kscmbz at 9:09 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Very insecue people make quick judgements.
    We all have something to offer to the world no matter what we weight.
    What happened to the golden rule?
    Children don't judge other children by how much they weight.

    Answer by DeniseMichelle at 9:21 AM on Jul. 4, 2009