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HELP PLEASE...

My husband is supporting us so I can be a SAHM but he also doesnt want to really help out much with our son. He will play with him and hold him but it honestly seems like he only does this when it is convenient for him.

Like this morning when the baby was ready to get outta his pack and play, I havent really slept all night and I woke up with a headache so I asked him to go sit with the baby for an hour and he just mumbled and groaned and went back to sleep completely ignoring me. I threw a pillow at him and I slammed the door when I walked outta our room (its childish I know) but I NEED TO SLEEP SOME MORE PLEASE!

I understand it's his day off and he wants to sleep in but I have needs too and i can't keep going like this it just isn't working. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 AM on Jul. 4, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (14)
  • suck it up... when the baby naps, you nap....do your "chores" when the baby is awake also, try to be understanding of your husband, let him sleep in since he does work so you can stay home
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Isn't this something that you discussed before deciding to have a child together? The two of you need to have a very serious conversation; marriage and rasing children is a partnership, you are not a housekeeper and nanny.
    Go to someone's house and nap, and let your husband be a parent for a few hours.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:41 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • i do "suck it up" and i let him sleep i let him play his video games i let him go out with the guys. he doesnt change diapers or anything. I have been understanding since the baby was born (he is 5months old now) and I haven't slept in almost 3 days now i just get cat naps all night. i asked him for JUST ONE HOUR of being with the baby so i can sleep a little and he refuses to. he has tomorrow off again and he could sleep in uninterrupted then. he doesnt ever get up with the baby at night either. he will play with the baby and when he needs a diaper change or when he starts spitting up its "bleh hunni take him hunni you better change him hunni get him" yea i appreciate him working so i can stay home but its the same job he had before the baby so there is not really that much added stress to him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • we never discussed having a baby...he was a surprise but he knew what was involved when we decided against adoption (for us abortion was never an option)....i was on BC when we got preggers but we decided to keep him...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I feel your pain. I truly do. My SO is the same way. I have chronic insomnia, and on top of that, had a baby who woke up every 2 hours for the longest time. It was so hard, I had to move back in with my mom for awhile so I could get more help. Do you have relatives or friends who will take your baby so you can get some sleep when this happens? If you truly feel like you will crash, put your baby in the pack and play with some toys and pop in some baby dvd... and lay down, pray he entertains himself for awhile. Or lay on the floor with him while he plays. Sometimes that's the only way I survive, and there are days where I will go 2 days without sleep. Not fun. Shower, caffeine, energy shots/energy drink helps. But might perpetuate the inability to fall asleep. Your husband needs to do his part. SAHM is a 24/7 job... it won't kill him to take over for an hour or two. Tell him. Don't ask. Just tell him and then go to bed. GL.
    ShadesofGrey

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 12:04 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • communication is key.....but sorry to say get used to it-you are MOM and Moms do a majority if not close to all the "work". I know how you feel to a degree. I started making BF get more involved little by little. Now he gives the baby a bath by himself and I ask him to change a diaper. Be direct with a man-do not give him any room for guessing what you want or need. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • wheni was with my ex and we had my dd we had the same work schedual since we worked at the same place we rotated weekends and days off. say i got up with her this monday then if we had aother day off in the week or the weekend he would take the next morning to get up with her if we had to work that weekedn then it still would be the same he would up her still.now that im a sahm and i get my dh exs baby every other weekend i make him get up one day usally its saturday when i make him get up with him and i told him when we get preg dont care if he working im not a single parent therefor im not the only one going to take care of the baby.
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 12:41 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • i think that the father should help out to!!!
    redivy

    Answer by redivy at 1:59 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I don't think you need to "suck it up". FYI, Not all babies like to nap. My daughter is 4 months and will maybe take a nap ONCE a week. My fiance does the same thing. I will have had about 4 hours of sleep(if that) and i'm exhuasted...while he is getting 10-11 hours of sleep a night.
    But just try talking to him. I had to sit down and talk with my fiance a handful of times before he got the picture.

    I also do not feel like the mother should have to deal with ALL of the stresses of having a newborn baby. Sorry but daddy was part of the baby making process as well.
    Things will get better though, just always remember! :)
    Mommy2Ava3509

    Answer by Mommy2Ava3509 at 2:27 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Must be nice to be a stay @ home mom. If you had to do everything you do plus work 40 hours a week then you would know the life of the single mom. Hope he steps it up to make life easier for you though. I think that mom's & dad's should share in the baby raising process. It's not like it was in the old day's where mom happily did everything around the house while dad earned the paycheck.
    jfblaine

    Answer by jfblaine at 3:37 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

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