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Not sure how to feel...

A co-worker of my husbands recently got into a car accident because she had been drinking...heavily. She broke her back in 2 places, and broke her arm pretty badly. She's okay, but probably in quite a bit of pain, and it will take some time for recovery.

He keeps stating how terribly awful he feels for her. I do feel really bad for her family, but I can't help thinking "She SHOULDN'T have been driving drunk!" She could have killed someone and she should be thankful she's alive! I know I should be sympathetic, so before you bash me, realize I know the way I'm thinking is wrong. I'm just having a hard time feeling strong sympathy for someone who was driving drunk....I feel like in a way, she asked for it. I think that drunk driving is SO incredibly selfish and I won't even drive if I've had one drink. It's always the people in the other car that die. How wrong am I to feel this way?

 
StefanieN84

Asked by StefanieN84 at 1:07 PM on Jul. 4, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 4 (40 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I agree with you 1000% darlin. There is no excuse for drinking and driving, and thankfully there wasn't an innocent family hurt in her stupidity. I have very little sympathy for people that do things to themselves because they lack common sense.
    MansfieldMomma

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 1:11 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I dont' think you are wrong. I mean she made a choice, a BAD choice and is going to live with the consequences. You dont' have to have sympathy for her.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 1:11 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • She's lucky she didn't kill someone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • You aren't wrong. Logically anyway. It is normal and reasonable to feel anger and dismay. Anger because innocent people are killed all the time by drunk drivers. As human beings we also feel compassion, so we also feel sorry for her suffering. Sorry for her family to have this happen to them, also- a drunk driver in their family, who could have killed someone. Who may drive drunk again. We hope that this experience will make her get help, make her realize that she might have killed or maimed someone, at least make her think that she could have killed herself if she isn't on the ball enough to think of others. So this is when we try to be carefully neutral about our feelings, not judging, knowing that she brought it on herself, and hoping that she'll not do it again, yet feeling humanly compassionate about her suffering. This is what I tell myself, anyway.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:18 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I wouldn't feel pity for her either. It was her choice to drink and get behind the wheel. She is lucky she is alive and she didn't kill or harm anyone else. Maybe in time you can find a way to cope with it, but for right now, I think you are just fine. I have 2 young children and I will not tolerate drunk drivers. I work at Burger King, and if I notice anyone drunk and have even trained my cashiers that if they notice an open container or drunk driver, I call the police. I hate to do that, but I would feel awful if I let them get away and harm anyone cause that anyone could be my hubby or children.
    Mom2LexiNJordan

    Answer by Mom2LexiNJordan at 1:26 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Bmat you said it all!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Nope you should not feel bad in the least bit. I lost and Uncle and 2 good friends to drinking and driving...1 friend killed himself on the forth of july in 2001 as a matter of fact. It was the 3rd accident from driving drunk and the 3rd time got him. My Uncle was on a bike and killed by a dd and my other friend on his skate board when he was hit by a dd. I never have and never will drink and drive. I made a promise to myself at my uncles funeral when I was 19. I live around the corner from the spot he was hit and they have a in memory of sign up in his name, it helps me remind others everyday that they should not drink and drive as well....
    LilMzMa

    Answer by LilMzMa at 1:37 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • " Nope you should not feel bad in the least bit. I lost and Uncle and 2 good friends to drinking and driving...1 friend killed himself on the forth of july in 2001 as a matter of fact. It was the 3rd accident from driving drunk and the 3rd time got him. My Uncle was on a bike and killed by a dd and my other friend on his skate board when he was hit by a dd. I never have and never will drink and drive. I made a promise to myself at my uncles funeral when I was 19. I live around the corner from the spot he was hit and they have a in memory of sign up in his name, it helps me remind others everyday that they should not drink and drive as well....
    Select as Best Answer Report this answer "

    Wow, that's horrible. I'm sorry for your loss.
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 1:40 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I have taken care of several people who were victims of drunk driving or were the drunk drivers on the vent unit of a nursing home. They need to show pictures of that at high schools to show the consequences of drinking and driving. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. I feel the same way.
    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 2:11 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I used to work with a drug and alcohol counselor. She was the person that a DUI offender has to see in order to get their license back. After working with her, my sympathy has run out. I heard every excuse as to why a person would drink and drive. In truth there is no excuse to get behind the wheel if you have been drinking. What she did, she did to herself. She is lucky she did not kill anyone else.
    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 2:13 PM on Jul. 4, 2009