Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is my 13 year old daughter beyond moody beyond normal?

My daughters personality has completely changed in the past year, She has had mood swings since she started her period which we have become accustomed to. Now she went from an honor student to barely passing. She is angry all the time, blows up with little or no provacation and has changed her clothing. She tried being a vegatarian (which I supported) and is actively trying to lose wait. She wears a size 7. She claims that she cries herself to sleep everynight and proudly calls herself EMO. There is no evidence that she is a cutter. We have caught her in lies and she is very secretive about friends etc. We are going through some financial hardships (who isn't) so I am working two jobs. The other day she freaked out about something, was super angry and as she walked behind me she punched me in the arm. Her father and I do not hit.She is an only child and I do not have any friends with children. PLease help

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Jul. 4, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Sounds to me like someone is trying WAY hard to be emo....I say try some counseling...and you should start disciplining her bad behavior if you havent already....and as an ex cutter...check more than her can cut ANYWHERE....and other parts of the body are more concealable.

    Answer by ChaoticSoul at 1:36 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Normal lol.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • No, that's not the norm, and hitting is unexceptable. I'd ground my dd for something like that. No computer time, no phone, no going/hanging out with friends (especially if I don't know them). If you let her get away with it, she'll learn to continue the behavior and use it to her full advantage. No one likes to be "mean" to thier kids, but when they cross the line, they must be disciplined.

    There's something causing her to act out like that. It's not just hormones. You should have a long talk with her - it will be like pulling teeth, but don't give up. Find out what's bothering her now before things really get out of control. Don't worry about what she may think of you. YOU are the parent, the sensible one. Put your foot down, keep your head held high, and make sure your husband backs you 100%.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Some is normal but if you are wondering you should seek counceling even. Do your best to talk it will be hard but sounds like she is trying too hard to fit in. Honestly if left alone it will get worse as they get older don't let her "walk" on you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I would sit her down and find out all you can. Maybe a shopping spree treat her and talk to her like an adult. I remember when I was a teen and got my period etc. I got real depressed and BAD BAD pms. Even to this day I am the biggest word when period comes. Alot of teens and older women have very bad pms and they make medicine for that and also midol helps alot tooo. This is a hard year for the girl, now its time for friend mommy to come out for a day. Laugh and maybe tell her some of your horrer stories from you that age. "like the one time you bleed all over yourself in homeroom, etc. etc. Let her know she is not alone and your there. Ya know? Hope this helps.

    Answer by allurasmamma at 7:54 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I would say that shes got some built up anger about something. That kind of personality change is a sign of depression and maybe something is going on that you don't know about. Also, If she hit you I'm assuming that something is bothering her about your relationship... of course you still need to be her mother but maybe you should try to have a serious heart to heart with her about whats going on. I would definitely recommend her seeing a therapist. You should get to the bottom of it NOW before it progresses and spirals out of control.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • It's all about influence and peer pressure and trying to fit in. I agree that you need to have a heart to heart with her. Ask her to educate you as to what's going on at school. My daughter loves to tell me how ridiculous some people, especially girls, act at school. How she hates that people need to get "accepted" in to cliques. She has decided not to get in to the whole drama of that, but it does bother her. A boy that she's been talking to is a very negative influence on her and feeds in to behaving as if there's no reason to be positive, so why don't we just be rude. We called her on it big time! I do agree that some form of consequence should result from her treating you or other members of the family badly, like taking the phone away. Counseling is a great idea!! My daughter has been and I will tell you that she definitely knows she has to take responsibility for her own feelings, reactions and happiness. Not easy!

    Answer by dflygirl7 at 9:04 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Please take her to talk to a professional . Teenagers feel and look at things differently then adults. Their feelings about what an adult would consider trivial are as serious to them as any major problem to us. Have you considered her getting involved in drugs or alcohol? As parents we think we know our children best, but so many have found they don't. Good Luck

    Answer by BettyBoo108 at 11:14 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • It is not normal to go from honor roll to bad grades. Take her to a counselor and find out what is going on. She is hitting you and that is unacceptable and the next time she hits you, call the cops on her. Describe her emotional behavior and that you are afraid she could harm herself or someone else and they will put her on a 72 hours psych hold and get her evaluated. She could be into drugs too. As for her crying herself to sleep, that is not normal either. Get her some help before it gets worse or something bad happens to her.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:11 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • okay i want to say that im not a mom, i am 17 years old. & i saw this question and i had to make an account so i can answer your question or at least make a comment. okay well i went through a phase like this. well i can say that i never hit my mom. but the thing is in all honesty i simply was suicidal and unhappy because my best friend had left me and got a boyfriend. i had no other friends and i was alone. well thats when i started to wear band tee and ripped jeans and people started calling me emo and i was so mad and furstrated. I just want to say that you dont have to cut yourself to be emo. many people think that but really its mostly of how you act and dress. i know a few people who cut themselves and wear aeropostle and are preppy. but anyways i started on taking the role as the emo girl in school and for my junior year i started to attend a vocational school and made new friends and all my grades went down the drain.

    Answer by jhutch8267 at 1:08 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.