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Whether or not it happened to your child, is there bullying in your school system? What do you wish could be the way to prevent bullying or overcome it within both the bullyer's and victim's school and family lives?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Jul. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • Bully exists whether there are programs in place to try to prevent it or not. In my sons school they have talks about bullying all the time so the bullys just have learned to get very good at what they do. They do it when there are no teachers around to see or hear what is going on. Just like when we were in school, but now the bullying is more serious. I find you have to be right on top of things and when my son complains I go right to the teacher and address it immediately so it doesn't escalate.

    Answer by lynda5 at 2:16 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • My sons bully was expelled from school. We sued his parents for the therapy my son has to go to and won. They lost their business and are moving from our town. Their child was court ordered into therapy as were the parents. I doubt they went or it did any good. Bullies usually come from homes where mom and dad are bullies. My sons bully tormented my son everyday stealing his lunch and shoving him into walls. My little guy tried to stand up to him and this bully crapped into a toilet and then waited until he saw my son and grabbed him from behind and shoved his head into the toilet cheered on by other students. He had an eye infection and nearly drowned.

    The school had programs but the schools can only do so much. Bad parenting is the main culprit. This boys father tried to hit my husband at the parent meeting. His wife spit on me. They thought it was funny my son was catatonic in the psych ward.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • There are some big problems with bullying in our school system. They formed an "Anti-Bullying Taskforce", unfortunately the woman who headed it was mother to the worst bully in the school. Not really effective, IMO, when she excused her son's behavior with "boys will be boys".

    My friend's daughter was sexually harassed for months by another girl. When a teacher finally saw it and reported it, the harassment got worse, not better. The parents of the girl who was doing the grabbing, kissing and groping denied their child could be a lesbian and tried to get the teacher fired. They (the parents) then mounted a harassment campaign at my friend's daughter and her family, going as far as to call and harass the girl's grandmother, and have various family members alternately shunned or harass the girl and her family. It got really ugly.

    Answer by mancosmomma at 2:25 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Cont.

    My son was 6 years old the bully was only 7. My son has an anxiety disorder and I have to homeschool him. We drive by a school and he has a panic attack. He nearly drown and because he did not have oxygen for a bit he has some brain damage. This kid walked as did his parents. My son will suffer the rest of his life because of what this little piece of crap bully did. His parents told me if my child was not so smart he would have been left alone. The mom and dad were clearly not bright and neither is their son. My son won an award because he read everything on the schools AR list for all grades. My sons IQ was unmeasurable and off any charts before the attack he now has a 70 IQ. We love him but know this act of bullying will never allow him to be who he would have been. If you have a child that bullies fix it. Don't ignore it and say kids will be kids. Some kids nearly die from these attacks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I'm op. I am so sorry for your sadness and your son's injuries. Good for you for going to court and BLESSINGS that you won even if the opposite family is worthless. I was bullied as a kid and I have never tolerated bullying by any kid of mine or to mine. FInally we are in a school district where a strictly worded and practiced policy is in place. It covers out side of school hours off school grounds and on. You sound just like me one who should not be messed with about our kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Yes there is bullying in my school system. I was even bullied a lot when I was in school. Unfortunately it is impossible to end ALL bullying because kids will always find a time and place when no one is around, to hurt another kid either physcially or emotionally. However, I DO think that schools need to become more involved and have more staff paying attention to and enforcing stricter rules if a child is caught bullying another.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 3:54 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Yes there is and its happened to us too. What I find so interesting is that this is a school system that puts bullying up at the TOP of the list of things to discuss, resolve and make plans for and its still happening when no ones looking and still being dealt with on a daily basis. No matter how many times they have the counselor in the room talking to the kids and educating them about bullying, its still going on. My son went for weeks without telling us what was going on. He was just 6 at the time and in kindergarten. I knew his behavior had changed, but I had talked to him SO much, that I felt for sure he would tell me and he didnt until one day when it came out of him. I felt helpless and sad because I tried to prevent that and I wasnt successful. I was angry and gave my child permission to defend himself, which he didnt do because of all he had been taught in school. I did speak to the asst. principal who handled it for

    Answer by momofsaee at 3:54 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • me but I began thinking about it a lot. I feel that bullying will never end until parents begin growing up and raising kids who are not so insecure. They cant do that until they stop being insecure. Bullying isnt anything but a form of insecurity. We are insecure with ourselves and our place in the world so we find someone we perceive as weaker and we pick on them. We make ourselves feel better by putting them down to build ourselves up. This happens in adult life too. I mean look here on cafemom. Look what the moms do to one another. And we expect our kids to do differently? We have to model it first.. That includes me. I struggle with this. Im a very strong personality and I tend to want to control situations. So I bully others who are not as outgoing as myself and I intimidate them to get my way. I try to make sure to catch myself when Im doing it, but I dont always do it right. Anyway, in the home is the place to start.

    Answer by momofsaee at 4:00 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Anon 2:23... Holy Mary, Mother of God!! (and I ask her to give you the strength to get through this).. Your poor son! I am rendered speechless, and that does not happen often..

    .... ok a few minutes later.. Kharma is a Bitch, and She will catch up to that kid, and slap him hard... I will even go as far as to say that, Your Son's Bully will probably end up in jail some day.. There was a bad kid like that in my neighborhood growing up, and he is in jail, first for Aggravated Assault and Mayhem, and the next charge was Murder1.. That kid sounds like a sick individual, and isn't going to get the help he needs. Pitiful, in a way.
    God give your son the strength to get over this hump in his life... You're a great mom for standing up for him like you did, and supporting him so much!!

    Answer by Zanny at 4:02 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • PP, Your story is a wake up call for all parents. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that the parents are usually bullies as well. I totally agree, which is why I admitted to dealing with this issue. I am nothing like the parents you described and I have enough morals and values in me as well as character to never behave that way. My children would NEVER treat another person that way at all, but theres physical bullying and then theres emotional bullying. I was emotionally bullied at school as a child and in defense of myself now, I have to really watch myself. I think one of the culprits is that I said to myself....I will NEVER let another person treat me like I dont matter or like crap ever again. If they dont like me fine, but they will never bully me again. Then I began passing that mindset onto my kids. Kids will always pick up on our attitudes. I see it a lot in my 15 yr old daugther. Shes very friendly,

    Answer by momofsaee at 4:05 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

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