Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how can i get my 12yr daughter to be more hygenic?

i can not get my 12yr daughter to take care of herself. She wont fix her hair brush her teeth or just take care of herself hygenic wise. She drives me crazy she always stinks and her feet smell awful.

Answer Question

Asked by jscastro at 5:20 PM on Jul. 4, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Do her classmates not make fun of her for it? I really don't know what to tell you? Is there something you can ground her from if she doesn't start to do more to take care of herself?

    Answer by ajguinn at 5:22 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Maybe take her to pick out some soap, body spray, and deodorant that she really likes. You might think she is too young but I always liked the sprays from victoria's secret (love spell is still my favorite) When I was 12 I didn't like to "waste my time" with showers and brushing teeth, I had better things to do.

    Answer by OwensMama824 at 6:24 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • We had the same problem . My daughter is 11 years old.I did her hair for her and took a picture. I kept telling her how beautiful she lookes. Then, I would take pictures of her when she looked awful. I would say how do you think this looks. I would ask her advice on my own hygene and say hey yea lets both get our nails done. Also we would do each others hair.It got to the point where we would tell eachother when we needed to get our beauty on. Hope this helps.

    Answer by marievegan at 12:25 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Take her into the bathroom, put her in the shower and help her wash herself. Everytime, until she gets the hint. I have stood outside the shower and told my son what to wash. Have her pick out the body wash and shampoo. Bath and Body works has a lot of different scents that teens seem to like. American Girl Doll has an awesome book about females hygiene and what her body is going through.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:56 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • It's a phase. My niece went through it and she was required to take a shower every other day. after her shower she was to go to her mother to be 'inspected' Her mom would smell her hair and make sure she otherwise looked clean. If she didn't pass she had to go take another shower. Teeth brushing was not a problem for her but I would say same thing. Maybe start requiring the 'agent blue' mouth wash and an inspection. Hair require her to do it or you will and it will be pig tales because you only should have to fix a five year olds hair for her. the embarrassment of having to be inspected was enough for my niece to shape up. Especially when she came to visit us and we were given the 'rules'

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:53 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • well my 12 yo son went through a phase where he stopped showering on a regular basis and while he brushed his teeth I really don't think it was adequate. His excuse was his teenage sister has all this girlie stuff in the bathroom and he didn't want to smell like flowers. So I took him shopping for "man stuff" and said now you have no excuses but you do have a choice either bathe or I'll bathe you. Anyways is she depressed? Being bullied?

    Answer by pagirl71 at 9:06 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I seem to be reading a lot about tweens not cleaning properly. Both girls and boys. My 10 yo son is the same. Here's my suggestion: Buy her "The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls (American Girl Library)" and "The Girl's Body Book: Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up YOU (Girlsworld)" both from Amazon written for 9-12 year olds and about $10 each. Then hit Bath and Body Works or Target or here are some websites to get her some girlie spa stuff and give it to her in a gift basket. If that doesn't work, then only a cute boy at school telling her she smells will work. :) - - They also have spa parties for tweens too. Maybe for a birthday party. If she sees the other girls into it, she may get in to it also.

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 2:42 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • tell her boys don't like stinky girls so to shower up and keep herself clean

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:40 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • She's not depressed, right? Because not having the energy to take care of yourself is a commen symptom of depression. Look into that, and make sure she is feeling fine and that nothing is bothering her. If she is really active, it just might be that she "doesn't have time", or doesn't see how necessary it is. Maybe have a talk with her about how important it is to take care of herself, especially now that she is in puberty, and she could get things like Athlete's Foot, which won't be pleseant. Another thing you could do is surprise her with a huge basket filled with everything she needs for great higyne. Maybe even take her to the spa. Just make sure she's feeling great, and give her reasons and encouragment to take care of herself.

    Answer by A.W.96 at 9:25 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • You are the parent. She is the child.. Make her shower..
    If she won't do it on her own and you have to stand there while she showers, then do so..


    Answer by Mad_Hexer at 2:57 PM on Jul. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Tweens (9-12)
Is my daughter about to start?

Next question overall (Health)