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My sister in law drives me CRAZY

She makes stories up that create conflict between my friends and I (tells them I'm mad at them for stuppppid reasons).. teaches my daughter HORRIBLE things and contradicts my parenting (I've gotten into big arguements with her over this so many times). Acts like shes 10 when she's 30. Smokes constantly which grosses me out, is a majorrr slut which grosses me out even more!!!! I don't want her here! EVER again! ESPECIALLY BECAUSE SHE KEEPS ASKING FOR $!!! But my daughters bday party is coming up and I know my husband won't let me just not invite her. What to do........... Invite her and put my happy face on? Or just say F&#* her?!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Jul. 4, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • OH MY GOSH....I THINK WE HAVE THE SAME SISTER IN LAW !!!!!!! I have the exact same issues with mine. But, mine is a lying, stealing, cheat too. Don't invite her. You need to be able to enjoy being with your family without having her there to ruin it. I know....every holiday, we all get together , sister in law included, and we're all MISERABLE !!!! Why they don't get the hint,,,I'll never know.......

    Good Luck to you.......
    lighthousemom3

    Answer by lighthousemom3 at 6:40 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • It sounds like she likes drama. Don't stoop to her level! Just invite her, be polite, and then wave goodbye with a BIG smile!
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 5:27 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • I wouldn't invite her. She'll probably cause drama at your daughter's birthday and nobody wants that.
    sarapurser

    Answer by sarapurser at 5:31 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • You need to have a serious talk with your husband (assuming it's his sister), and explain that you've decided to really focus on positive things in your life and that means eliminating all the obvious negatives and keeping alert to any negatives that come your way. Explain to him that one of the negatives is his sister, and it just brings too much stress to you as a woman, a mother, and a person to allow her to be in your presence. Explain that you're not intending to keep him from his sister, but just not while you're around...which would be 99% of the time at your house.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 5:52 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • i wouldnt invite her....
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 6:12 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • My mother and I don't get along, and haven't spoken in over 5 years. My husband and father of our children has a "rule." He cannot prevent me from rekindling the relationship I had with my mother (never gonna happen), but he DOES have a say in whether our children are allowed to be around her! And I completely agree!

    While you're not preventing your husband from seeing his sister, you CAN demand that YOUR children not be exposed to her. YOU are the parents--you need to leave "blood" out of it, and do what is in your CHIDLREN'S BEST INTERESTS!

    If you SIL can't "deal with YOUR rules"--so much the better!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:39 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • Its one thing if she annnoys you or something like that but if she is smoking and if shes doing it around your DD and shes teaching her things that arent appropraite you arent doing it for yourself your doing it for your DD and I wouldnt blame you if you didnt invite her. But I would definatley discuss it with your SO before doing it. Atleast he has some idea of how your feeling and isnt wondering why she isnt there. And be sure to tell her look if your not going to go with how I run things in my house with my family, You dont need to be a part of our family functions or be around our family. IF she doesnt understand thats her own fault. Be strong and dont let her get to you, then shes getting what she wants.
    OliviasMommy614

    Answer by OliviasMommy614 at 8:56 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • That's your husbands sister. Suck it up and invite her. The only thing I would not give even a little on is her smoking. Have the party at a smoke free place.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 11:48 PM on Jul. 4, 2009

  • First you and your husband need to be on the same page and agree on some boundaries. If I were you and this was my situation: I would allow her over for holidays or invites only. It would be explained she cannot just drop by, that no one can. I would also tell my friends that I have SIL with her violating my trust and space, if they are your friends they will understand. If not, get new friends. Don't participate in her drama, your friends might - in which case they are not friends. Then I would have a no smoking rule for my home and make a point to go to non smoking places when with her. I wouldn't have her watch my children, EVER. You don't have to be mean about it. Just say no and smile and nod. The "slut" issues are hers so they don't matter. That is just being tacky and giving into your frustrations. Don't bad mouth any family member, including her, to anyone. This makes you the bad guy.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:33 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Do have a long talk with your husband about your limitations and boundaries. It is important that he is backing you up. Don't call his sister names.....just state your worries factual and what you want done about it. If he is not with you on this then it is more than just sister in law issues you have. Also last but not least: NEVER loan money to any family member, period.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:35 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

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