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I feel like i was discriminated against today.

It was sort of odd. We were waiting for the fireworks and there was an older boy playing and talking with my boys. Then, for some reason, Patrick told the boy that his mom was dead and that some people say she went up into the sky (heaven) but that he believes she will come back as someone else. When the older boy tried to start arguing with Patrick, Patrick got a bit upset. So i called Patrick to me and explained to him (as i have done before) that lots of different people believe different things and that it's okay. Well, at that same time, the older boys parents called him away from us ...and for the rest of the half hour he did not come over to play. Patrick even called the boys name a few times, but the boy ignored him.
I've never had that happen before.
What do you think? Did i take them out of their comfort zone?
For those who dont know, I am Pagan.

 
outstandingLove

Asked by outstandingLove at 2:17 AM on Jul. 5, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • You probably were ignored. Most parents, particularly in the conservative area I live, would not have allowed their children to play with yours. It is great for children to be able to express their beliefs and share with others....but we also have to teach them not everyone else will respect or share those same views. Some children and their parents may even not want their children playing with yours. That we do have to teach. As well as teaching our own children tolerance and acceptance for other people's beliefs. It is a two way street. This is a lesson for him and for you. This would be a great time to role play situations and discuss how sometimes not sharing is also okay. Unless he absolutely feels the need to share with someone, it is his business where his mom is and what relationships people have with him. This will happen again more than likely. But with a little practice he can be prepared.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:26 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I don't think it really matters much now. It will all work itself out. Kids do better when adults stay out of it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:23 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I'm sure it's upsetting for a kid who believes his mom is in heaven and that's what he's told and believes to have a kid tell him that's not true. I don't think it's discrimination. I think it's just the parents protecting their child against more hurt
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Anon. I think you misunderstood. It is my sons mother who is dead. Patrick is legally my little brother and i am now adopting him. He told the other boy that some people believe in heaven but that he belives in reincarnation (except he used more simple words of course. lol)

    and i agree admchkenzie. it does not matter much now. ...i just feel a little weirded out by it.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:35 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • When it comes to religion things often get sketchy. Did the parents hear this conversation between the boys? If I recall your little brother is young, so I find it interesting that he is able to understand this at his age. That is neat!
    Don't let others bother you when it comes to these kind of things. You can't please everyone, so as long as your are happy then their opinions don't matter much.
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 2:36 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Yes, ronjwake, i do believe the parents heard the boys talking. The tone in their voice when they called him over was ...almost like he was in trouble. Although, he really did nothing wrong.
    And yes. My little brother is only 4 and a half. I am not sure to what level of this concept he understands, but he was wililng to argue about it. LOL.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:41 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • If they parents did hear the conversation they might have been out of their comfort zone. But you or your brother done nothing wrong. You are free to believe as you chose.
    Your little brother sounds like a bright little guy. Most kids that age don't understand death very well or what he told the other little boy, be proud of him, he sounds like a bright boy :)
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 2:46 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • It is so sad that people are so ignorant about others beliefs. The worst thing is that this will probably not be the last time it happens. Anytime you subscribe to a belief system out of the mainstream you are more likely to be discriminated against.
    It is great that you are teaching your little Patrick that people have different beliefs, I wish all parents would.
    Big Hugs.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 2:51 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • What a smart young man. You did right by explaining to him that some people believe differently and thats ok. What is not ok is when people are rude or mean about it. The other little boys parents are not teaching him to be accepting but it sounds like you are teaching your Patrick the right things. You are doing a great job, keep up the good work.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 3:32 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Some people feel that topics about death and someone's parent dying might be too intense for children to be discussing, especially if the parents haven't had a chance to thoroughly discuss the "death topic" with their own children yet. Maybe they weren't weirded out by your beliefs but rather, didn't want their kid discussing death, especially when it seemed like what Patrick said upset the kid?

    If we were some place having family time for fireworks and my kid was told something that bothered him by another kid, I would probably tell him just to stay here with me, enjoy the show and then let's go home. It's nothing against the other kid; I just wouldn't want my child to be upset anymore. JMHO
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

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