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i need advice on this pliz

Hii moms out there.i really need your advice on this.my boyfriend has a son wid his ex who has other 3 kids from her previous marriage.she is always asking him to do things for her so that he can see his son.yesterday she asked him to take her other kids out to see fireworks but he never told me they had those plans already.i got really mad coz he doesnt show me respect as his girlfriend to inform me before doing it. i only found out after i called him.am i over reacting?what should i do.i need your advices pliz

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mo84

Asked by mo84 at 11:35 AM on Jul. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Try to think of the kid's feelings. They got to have a good time.
    momtoeight

    Answer by momtoeight at 11:56 AM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • maybe he's not into your relationship as much as you seem to be and he doesn't think he owes it to you to tell you what he's doing or with whom. Not bashing, just wondering if you think there is more between you two than really is.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:27 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • He's not that into you and probably has feelings for her still. He's still letting her control him so there is something going on. Sorry to be so blunt, but I've been there. If you want to talk send me a message.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 12:48 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Kids always come first. Period. You are only his girlfriend. But even if you were his wife his child will come first. So will the others. He doesn't need your approval. He has a child. You will never be first.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 1:02 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I have to agree with chrissy kids come first especily to a man and as long as he has him babies you'll never be at the top of his list srry but it's ture it'll alwayse be his kid first and then you and if this woman controles when and if he sees his kid then he'll do what she wants. But if it bothers you try to talk to him but don't make him choose between you and his baby bc i'm sorry to say that you won't win !
    kat324

    Answer by kat324 at 1:52 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Does he have shared custody of ALL the children or is it an on-call situation all the time? Not that it 's any of our business, but are you two living together? If you are, quit shacking up and pretending to be married. Either you get married and live together, or you don't live together and date.
    You are the 'girlfriend'. A boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is different than a marriage. He does not have to treat you with the same respect as a wife by telling you what he is doing (it sounds mean, but it's true). He does have to show respect, but as the boyfriend.
    As for the children, if manipulation from the ex-wife using the children is her tool to control him, then he has some drama that he needs to deal with without you in the picture; meaning, you need to step aside and let him grow up and take care of the problem. If he doesn't, then you know what kind of relationship you will have if marriage comes into play.
    HeatherV.

    Answer by HeatherV. at 2:10 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Hii HeatherV.they were never married.he only has one kid with her and he doesnt have custody of him but he pays child support its only an on call situation.we are engaged and living together.i let him deal with his own staff.i never get involved with them. i just needed advice on this if i overeacted.i know his kid comes first
    mo84

    Answer by mo84 at 9:30 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

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