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Is this Normal for a 12 year old to be interested in boys" privates?

I find this hard but my 12 year old daughter just got her period and now she is asking all kinds of questions that in by time would never be allowed to be asked but do not want to do the same as I had as a kid but the questions keep getting harder and harder to ask, please help me with this one, she asked me what is masterbation? i asked her did'nt they teach this with sex ed this year? she is going into 7th next year? I told her I would do some investigating and then get back with her. Please help\\\

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Jul. 5, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (20)
  • I think it's completely normal and also believe that you should be completely honest with her. the only way she'll learn what sex is, masterbation, etc is to tell her. You dont want her going and finding some random off the wall answer. NOW with the explanation of what these are also explain that sex should only be done between a man and woman that love eachother and want to be together forever. Also that sex should only happen if she personally can afford and is okay with caring for a newborn/baby beacuse things happen.

    To be honest I wouldn't really hesitate too much with maybe putting her on birth control or be honest and find out her complete intentions with these questions and find out whether someone has been asking her to do these things.

    Answer by Carissa11906 at 1:32 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I think the best thing you can do when your kids come to you with sex questions is to be as honest as possible and also add in your own values. It's great that she feels she can come to you with all these questions, if she doesn't get the answers from you she'll get them from friends, which may not be accurate, and will not include your personal values. This is a good start for her teenage years, it's better if she can come to you with all her questions and concerns as she grows older.

    Answer by robinann5 at 1:42 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Answer all her questions. Why are you relying completly on the school to do your job.? She will stop asking and get the info from the kids at school and it won't be accurate. She is going into 7th grade, she should know how to prevent pregnancies, STD's, etc. Yes, it is normal for her to be asking about the opposite sex, masturbation, etc. Her body is changing and she needs the info from a reliable source, if you don't want to or can't then find a close female relative or friend to talk to her. My son is 13 and has known this info for years, I answer any and all of his questions, if I don't know the answer I find it out. My son's health class already went over everything your daughter is asking (he is going into 8th grade). Go to the bookstore or library and check out some books to read with her. Don't freak out, just answer the questions and give your values, etc.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:53 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Just answer her questions. You can get the point across without all the specific details.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Wow, you should be thrilled that your child is coming to YOU for answers. Keep those lines of communication open and to be honest, 12 is about the right age to start answering these questions honestly. She needs to know the truth and it sounds like she is ready to hear it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Besides sitting down with her and answering her truthfully while doing it with respect. Go to your local library and get some books on this subject there are so many out there that are geared for tweens and my son's Ped gave him a book Let's talk about S.E.X. It is a very good book. Have her go see your Gyno as well she can be helpful too.
    Just be very honest with her and tell her that this is nerve racking for you to and a bit embarrassing as well. My mother told us how she felt when she had to talk to us. My sister had her period at ten and I thirteen and I am glad my mother took the time and gave us so much information but not too much.
    I am now in my 40's and have had the talk with 3 of our children and 2 of them have thanked us for being open and honest. Our youngest is only 12 and he is still a bit weirded out when we talk...LOL But that doesnt stop us. Knowledge is a good thing.

    Answer by nhlorax67 at 3:53 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • LOL, curiosity is good but she wants to know it all NOW, huh? Geez I started masturbating at age five that I can remember and don't remember asking anyone about it. I haven't stopped yet nor did I discuss it with anyone. She can find some of that stuff online but it never hurts to just keep it simple in telling her what things are. I'd just say it's self stimulation. I believe there is a book called the Joy of Sex for One that might help. It's an old book but a good one and with pix! As for the boy's parts, tell her she can learn about those when she's older and ready to know about them. For now, tell her to stay away from them, they spit and that's not a good thing! lol I'd talk to her about self esteem as well and that guys will ask her to do things she's not ready for but she needs to wait until she's emotionally ready (and hopefully legally of age!).

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:04 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • OYE, I'm dreading this age!

    Answer by Starfire73 at 8:05 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I am getting ready to enter the middle school years and I know from friends that their girls heard everything imaginable during their 6th grade year. It is WONDERFUL that your DD is asking you for information! Do not turn her away or act as if the questions are for someone else to answer. This will only push her away and keep her from coming to you in the future! She is just asking because she probably heard someone at school talking about it. She may also have heard incorrect information at school. You need to be honest with her and make sure she gets the info correct. It is hard for parents and the questions come so early.

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 9:21 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • if YOU dont tell her the truth and become a trustworthy confidant, she will go to someone else. some girl who doesnt have a clue and is making stuff up, or to some boy to "show" her. come on mom...its hard to do, but you cant skip this age!

    Answer by ivelostmyself at 1:37 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

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