Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you let your child keep his/her fathers last name??

My daughter, who is now six has not seen her father for going on 3 years now. He pretty much has nothing to do with her or i, but has his last name. Im wondering if I should change her last name to mine. Maybe it would be easier for school purposes and I figured that since she has NOTHING to do with him or his family: I should change it. Am I right, or should i wait until she is older to decide for herself???!!!!????

 
SylviasMommy

Asked by SylviasMommy at 1:39 PM on Jul. 5, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • You are in a tough spot. I would change it only if ... he doesn't pay child support. As you said he doesn't visit nor does his family. She should be all yours. If or when he does step up to the plate then you will have to make the decision to change it back. Don't do it out of spite your daughter wil be the one that suffers for that. If you truly feel that it is in her best interest not yours then go for it and have a huge party to celebrate!!!!!!!!! Good luck
    Tanya239

    Answer by Tanya239 at 1:54 PM on Jul. 8, 2009

  • My son does have his fathers last name he has mine. At the time he was born we were no longer together so I gave him my name to make it easier. Now that we are back together when we get married I will change his last name to his fathers. But since she is so young I think that you can chage it and she wouldnt notice. Plus it is alot eaiser on you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • He has to sign the paperwork. I would try it and see if he is willing to do it. My guess is that he will want to be part of her life if he thinks you are trying to keep him out of it.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 1:42 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • IDK, I've thought the same thing since my kids don't see thier dad at all. But their last name is the same as middle name, so I was thinking about dropping MY maiden name so we all have the same name. They already think my last name is the same as thiers and they know what their name is...

    I think its costs about $250, but I'm not certain about that.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • He would totally sign the paperwork: IT IS HIS DECISION TO NOT BE IN HER LIFE! I DID NOT MAKE THAT DECISION! He is behind on his child support MAJOR n makes NO effort to contact us at all. I have left MANY messages for him to see her and even sent him an invite for her Bday party. And still NOTHING from him! So...........He would sign the paperwork, Im just trying to decide what is best for my child here. I dont think its fair for her to have a last name of someone who doesn't care anymore! But what if later in life: he wants to be a part of her life???? Ugggg??!!
    SylviasMommy

    Answer by SylviasMommy at 1:48 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • My daughter is 26 and has decided to change her last name from her (divorced) father's name to my maiden name. I have my ex's last name.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 1:52 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I've thought of that too. My daughter has my ex's last name & my son only has the same last name because I didn't want him & his sister to have different last names. Now I'm regretting that decision. Wondering if I could change their names to mine. HOwever my son's middle name is my last name....so It would be Connor Blaine Blaine. LOL
    I think if you would feel more comfortable then yes change it.
    jfblaine

    Answer by jfblaine at 4:28 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I know this is kinda different, but my friend was so out of it from meds when her dd was born that she spelled her name Klohe' on the birth certificate and decided right before she entered kindergarten that maybe she should change it to Chloe instead since that is the more common spelling and may be easier. They went back and forth with it for a year or so, before she decided the cost wasn't worth it and Klohe' can just deal with her name being spelled differently. As far as your situation goes, I am going with what I told my friend in her situation. That's what you named her when she was born, why change it now? And with it being a last name, chances are it'll change eventually anyway.
    sparrowprincess

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 5:38 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Some of you are so selfish for YOUR reasons. You aren't happy with him, so take the name away. My mom did this to me, and as an adult it caused lots of problems. My advice it that you pursue something with him for her. She will respect that in the far, far future. As young girls, we are entitled to understand and have the opportunity to know our fathers, even when they are not good ones (unless abuse is involved). Don't make mistakes now, that suit your needs and feelings, that your child may disagree with later. Let her make changes when she is able to understand. I am telling you---get child support and try to give her a chance to know her other family. She will look later, and if you helped and it does not work out, she will not have issues later.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • keep her last name, this is her father. what my mom did was kept her maiden name with married name..

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 10:45 AM on Jul. 6, 2009