Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can i be with someone if they still love there EX

im in a new reltaionship with a old friend and in the past two days i found out that he still loves his ex that broke his heart. And now Im finding out that she is going to his place and staying the night. i dont know what to do. he says he wants to marry me but know i dont know if its true. we put my ring on layway yesturday and i got him an X-Box and some other things and he just now told me that she is going to fight to get him back will i dont want to lose him i Love him to death and will do anything to keep him. what should i do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Jul. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • well I think every1 still "loves" their first love,I don't know if that was his. But if he wants to marry you,why would you think its not true? Guys just don't go around asking every women to marry them...that must mean that you really mean something to him....Well you need to tell him that you are the one HE WANTS TO MARRY! and he should not be entertaining the thought of her fighting to get him back,if he wants to marry you
    Lovin_mybaby5

    Answer by Lovin_mybaby5 at 3:07 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • When she spends nights at his house, is he sleeping with her or is he with you? Why rush this engagement, a ring is just a material thing, it does not mean that he is ready for a commitment with you How long ago did he break up with his ex? Dont exchange expensive gifts, some guys are very materialistic and stay with a woman who buys them gifts or have nice cars, etc. Think about all these things before you get in too deep. If possible all 3 of you should meet in a public place and have a civilized conversation to clear things out. Be careful with this one, men tell you one thing and mean something totally different.
    Yve538

    Answer by Yve538 at 3:09 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • WALK AWAY NOW. Seriously, no matter how much it hurts he is giving you major red flags.

    One is that any man who truly loves you would not be playing around with his ex. It is one thing to have fond feelings for an ex but from what your write it is much more. And there is NO reason that would make it okay for him to have her spending the night at his house.

    I can't tell you on how many levels it bothers me that he told you that his ex is going to fight for him . . . WHAT??? Why would he say something like that to you? And what gave her the impression that this is a contest and he is the prize???

    Do you really want a relationship where it is a contest between you and some ex? YOU deserve to have a man who only thinks of you and is focused on you. One that will go out and buy you an engagement ring and let you know that YOU are the only one that holds his heart.
    TessLouise

    Answer by TessLouise at 3:19 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I would not want to marry someone who still spends the night with his ex whom he claims he still loves! Don't disrespect yourself like that. Date him if you want but for goodness sakes don't marry the man. He's told you what's up. He's made you his rebound woman and taking advantage of you and your feelings for him to make sure he has a support system if he can't get her back. That's just wrong. Tell him to take his layaway and stick it up her....ok, maybe that's going too far.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:31 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • wth is she spending thhe night at his house 4 anyway.some1 shouldnt get into a new relationship with some1 if they still have feelings for there ex because shit like this happens.she most likely only wants him now because he has some1 else.i would beat that bitch ass lol.he needs to realize though whats wrong with that picture.be smart sweety.what you love isnt always whats good 4 you.no mans ex should be sleeping at his house unless he gettin some booty.
    Desi2Sweet

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 3:39 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • if he loves her...leave
    dont wait around for him to decide or to be 2nd place...no one deserves that
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 3:44 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • After dating my fiance for a week he broke it off with me 'cause he said he's still in love with his ex & dosen't want to hurt me & was sorry that he put me through that when he wasn't over her. Well, I didn't call him & just cut my losses. it was only a week together. But 4 day's later he called me & told me that he couldn't stop thinking about me & knew he didn't want to be with her that he wanted to be with me. We dated for a little after that but I told him if he talked to her it was over w/us. He stopped talking to her all together & even proposed to me last valentine's day. You should make sure he's over her. MY SO found out by being around her he would rather be with me. Maybe he needs to be around this other girl to see if that's what he really wants. May hurt you but it's best to find out now.
    jfblaine

    Answer by jfblaine at 3:50 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Shes staying at his place? Ummm no ma'am. Sounds like he is playing you both.
    Lauren24

    Answer by Lauren24 at 3:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Well, what I think you shouldn't do is do anything to keep him because this kind of game could get out of hand. But what I would do is stop thinking about marriage right now because even if he did marry you he could cheat on you with her behind your back. It sounds like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too! You know play the both of you, but you will never see it coming because he's lieing to the both of you. If you really want to know who he will chose, be patient and stop seeing him for a while until he makes up his mine and if he really loves you he will come back to you and stop playing mine games.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Don't stay with a guy that puts a ring on lay away. So lame.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN