Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How did you decide?

We always knew we wanted at least two children so deciding to have our second son was no problem. We have never really been able to decide if we want a third though. We had been waiting until we were certain and are now reaching our deadline. My boys are 22 months apart and I don't want a third one to be any more than about 4 years younger than my youngest....which means I need to get pregnant in the next few months or never.

I know that I want another baby. I love the baby time. The question is do I really want another child. My boys are so close and I don't want to mess that up. At the same time, I miss all of the baby things and am still holding out hopes of a little girl ( I realize that this would probably not happen and would not be disappointed with another boy).

How did you mommies decide how many children you wanted?

Answer Question
 
mamasitax2

Asked by mamasitax2 at 4:12 PM on Jul. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 10 (385 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • i was only able to have 2 due to complications after both pregnancy's. if i had the choice i prob would have like to have 1 more. mine are 6yrs apart in age. dd - 8 & ds - 2. i had 2 misscarriages inbetween...
    scooterpooter

    Answer by scooterpooter at 4:19 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • That's a tough question, and of course varies so much from person to person. Have you talked with your hubby, asked him what he thinks about having a third right now?

    Also, why would you HAVE to have another one before 4 years? Maybe it would be fine to wait longer. Your boys will still be close, and you can have another baby anytime, when you're ready. I understand that logic for number 1 and 2, cause you want them to relate and all that, but the baby would probably get along just fine with his/her brothers if there was a bigger age gap. Just my opinion.

    It's really a question only you can answer. Good luck!

    Oh, and for me personally, I just want 2 kids, I have a 2 year old, and am pregnant with #2 now. So my kids will be 2.5 years apart. If i ever did have a third, it would be way down the road, like 5 years after number 2 is born, lol.
    Arkaidy

    Answer by Arkaidy at 4:27 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • My SO and I both wanted only one child. But after having my DS, I'm starting to rethink that. Although I really don't want to be pregnant or go through labor again, I'd Iove to have another baby. But I want to wait 4-5 years before I do. If I don't at that time, but I'm getting fixed. Some women LOVE being pregnant & having several chiIdren. I'm just not one of 'em. I had a great pregnancy & my son is amazing. I'm just happy w/ what I have. I don't fee the need to have a 2nd chiId.
    paige8608

    Answer by paige8608 at 4:39 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I never really did. All my kids were oopses, lol. My first 3 were born with in a year of the last one (15 months between #1 and #2 and 13 months between #2 and #3).
    The only one we have discussed was the 4th one. We were still discussing it when I found out I was pregnant. She's 3 1/2 years younger then the 3rd and the only we even thought of planning for.
    My 5th would have been due in November. That baby was a complete surprise and would have been 3 1/2 years younger then my 4th but I miscarried in May at 12 weeks.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 4:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • When I met my hubs I told him I wanted between 2-4 kids. He said maybe 2. So after we were married a few years we felt the time was right and had our 1st son. Then 2yr later ( a week after #1's 2nd birthday) our 2nd was born and hubs and I felt we were done having kids. Well 5yrs ago we had a 'surprise' pregnancy- unfortunately that ended in miscarriage. After that happened I told my hubs I wanted 1 last child and then our family would be complete. So in 2006 our last child was born (on my birthday) and I had my tubes tied. What is kind of ironic is I got pregnant with the 'lost' child in March.... and then my last child was born in march-- so I guess everything worked out how it was meant to be.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 5:32 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I wanted two. They wouldn't tie my tubes bc I was too young. When I got pregnant the third time I told the dr if she didn't tie my tubes after that she could have my child and raise it bc I can't afford more children. Who does the govt think they are telling me I can't stop having children when I wanted to? Damn Bureaucrats.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:57 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • ive always wanted 4 and now i am thinking a 3rd may be it
    but i keep telling myself ill never regret having a child but i may regret not having that 3rd or 4th child someday when i wish i had another
    Riosmommy

    Answer by Riosmommy at 6:27 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I know that I would not regret another child. I am more just wondering if I would be having another child because I truly want one or if I just have baby fever lol. As for my "deadline" I just do not want too big of an age gap between my kids so that they will still all be close. I am not close to my siblings and want my children to be able to have a good relationship.
    mamasitax2

    Answer by mamasitax2 at 6:41 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I know I want one more if God permits it I've known from the time I was a little girl that I wanted to kids i used to want a girl and a boy but now I'm pretty sure I just want another little girl.

    aubrees_mommie

    Answer by aubrees_mommie at 10:38 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN