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Do You Think I'm Wrong?

Long story short my 4 yr old step son has been living with us since April because he told his teachers he was going to kill himself. We had a psych eval done which showed he had major depressive disorder, was highly suicidal, many red flags of sexual abuse, his mother forced him to watch gore movies, and that he had a secret he couldnt tell because his mom would be mad. He has night terrors waking up hysterical but tells me he cant tell me what the dreams are about because his mom will be mad. We tried to get emergency custody but the courts wont allow it saying allof this has nothing to do with his mom!!!! They ordered my husband to let her speak to him each night. They also told him to tell me to mind my business! The house phone is in my name and I am not allowing her to speak to him over my dead body. I also intend on waiting for the police to come get him because I'm not handing him over willingly. CONT....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Jul. 5, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • wow, what a situation. Poor little guy, I dont think you are wrong, you are trying to protect him, very commendable.

    This is such a tough thing to deal with, I don't have any real advice I have never been there before, but I am sorry for your family and especially for the little guy!
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 7:00 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I don't want to get my husband in trouble but when my SS lived with his mom there were plenty of times that her cell phone was disconnected for weeks and he couldnt talk to his son even telling him to buy a cell phone for her if she wanted to talk to his son!!!! I told her that this is my phone and that if she wants to talk to her son she will need to wait until my husband gets a cell phone. I guess I have just about had it with the courts being so stupid and I'm not going to play their game anymore. If I need to mind my business that I guess she wont be using MY phone to talk to her son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:58 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • CONT BTW he goes back to his mother on July 24
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Yes I think your wrong..This is your DH's son with another women. You need to let him deal with this..You should just be there to suport his decitions.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:13 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Push to have your husband get custody! And keep him in counseling until he tells everything to the her and she can tell in court that the child is not safe with the mother.

    I am truly sorry to hear all this and I hope it all works out for you and your family! And I dont blame you, you are only trying to protect him!
    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 7:14 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • louise I have been more of a mother to my SS than his own mother and I am the primary caretaker when he is with us and he is clearly being abused. The courts expect me to care for him when he is here. How am I to love a child if I cannot protect him?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • You do need to butt out on certain things....he has a mother and father. His father should be the one having ALL conversations with his mother, not you. The phone is in your name.....don't you let your husband use it whenever and for whatever he wants? He should be free to use it for anything concerning his child. The father should step up to the plate and you need to back down and just be a shoulder and ear for your husband.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 7:17 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • The SS should not be coming over unless his father is there..The courts can not force you to baby sit this child sense he is not yours.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:45 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Yea Firelass and his uterus donor MOTHER is abusing him. And louise the courts are aware that I care for him while his father works because he needs to work or else he will be in jail for not making child support payments.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • OP - you need to have that psych eval entered into the courts attached to this childs case. If that isn't enough - ask your husband to petition the courts for another evaluation by a 3rd party independent court appointed person.

    The sad fact is as much as you want to help this child "legally" you have no leg to stand on - emotionally you might; but not in the eyes of the court. Your husband has to step up to the plate and be the one making these accusations; not you. And he shouldn't say; my new wife feels xyz...it won't help.

    You husband at the very least should be able to get the courts to order her to stop showing him any movies or tv shows that are above his age range since he's having nightmares etc...

    Good Luck
    beachmamaof2

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 8:16 PM on Jul. 5, 2009