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Do you think its ok for a grandparent to spank their grandchild in the parents prescence KNOWING that the parents do NOT spank?

My parents spanked us when we were younger but we have chosen NOT to spank our children ( I dont have a problem with other people spanking THEIR children but we have decided its not right for us and use other methods of discipline) Well we were at my parents house for the fourth.. my son was stomping on the floor and my mom asked him to stop... he told her no.. Instead of putting him on time out (she didnt even TRY IT!!) she told him come here.. when he did she SPANKED HIS BUTT! I was right there and got very upset at her. If she didnt want to discpcilne him the way we do it she could have asked me to do it and i gladly would have put him in time out for not listneing but she didnt.. she spanked him right in front of me and claimed it was right as a grandmotehr cuz she feels timeouts dont work.. for my son they do.. We ended up leaving early.. i was told i was overreacting.. just want other opinions..thanks

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JrsMommy07

Asked by JrsMommy07 at 9:35 PM on Jul. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 10 (419 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Yes, your mother or not no one else has a right to put their hands on your children. She should respect the fact that you are the mother, and allow you to handle the situation.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 9:36 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • If she knew that you don't spank then no she should have not spanked him. I spank my son but I don't like it when my mom spanks him. I think that it should be the parent's responsibility, not the grandparents. I would just tell her that you want to handle all of the discipline issues and if he is acting up then to let you know so you can take care of it.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 9:40 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I would have told my mum off immediately. Especially if she knew i wasn't spanking.
    She had absolutley NO RIGHT to do that. Grandchild or not. Your the parent, you make the rules for your child. You didn't overreact.

    When you speak to her next explain that because YOU dont spank your child NOBODY else - whom ever they may be - can spank your child. And if she insists that because she doesn't agree with your form of dicipline she can. Tell her that you won;t be coming round again until she realises that she is undermineing you as a parent.
    mum-to-be-at-18

    Answer by mum-to-be-at-18 at 9:44 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Wow... You did not overreact!!! I hate how grandparents don't think you know jack about being a parent. Its not even that she did what she did, its how she underminded you that I would be upset about.
    Jillybeans24

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 9:45 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I am a grandma, and I never spank my grandkids, some of my kids do spank, some don't, but that is totally up to them. I did occasionally spank my kids, so I'm not totally against it BUT I think only the parents should spank their own kids, I use time out on my grandkids if their parents aren't here, but usually if their parents are here I think they should handle the discipline.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:49 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Wow! That is one out of control grandparent. You and your child deserve an apology and a promise that this will never happen again; otherwise, the grandparent does not deserve the privelege of being a grandparent.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:55 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • If my so's mom ever laid a hand on my daughter, I'd beat the hell out of her right then and there!! I don't believe in spanking, but if someone puts their hands on my kid I WILL get violent. You need to talk to your mom and tell her she has no right to spank your child. She's the grandparent, NOT the mama. What you say goes. Period. If she doesn't like it, then she can either come to YOUR house to see the grandchild, or she can choose not to be in the child's life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • thats Just disrespectful, I would have said something
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • No way. I would write them a letter and just lay out for them how you feel. Tell them that you do not discipline your children that way, and for grandparents to spank them sends mixed messages to the children. Not to mention how it undermines your right as a parent to make decisions for yourself on how to discipline your children. If they cannot respect your wishes, then
    a. I wouldn't let them babysit
    b. I would limit my time around them, especially if they have no problem spanking in your presence

    I also chose not to spank my daughter. I wasn't spanked either, so this is not a concern with my parents. However, I wouldn't put it past my daughter's father's parents to spank her, since they think "non-spanking" = "non-discipline"
    LondonAsMommy

    Answer by LondonAsMommy at 10:34 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I would have been irate. As a non-spanker I have let both sets of grandparents know how I feel about spanking. I can't even imagine the rage I would feel if they spanked my child! So, no, you didn't overreact.
    MotherofIreland

    Answer by MotherofIreland at 12:08 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

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