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Would you be pissed or am I overreacting?

My daughter's father and I are really good friends. NOT friends with benefits. I'm in a relationship with someone else. Recently, he's gotten himself a new gf and every time I talk to him and she's around, he talks to me like shit! I've already told him that it's rediculous that he has to hide the fact that we are really good friends from this girl. He says she knows how he feels about me and my daughter and she's worried about us getting together (NOT happening!). I mean, if she is really that jealous and controlling, does he really want to be in a relationship with her??? We've been best friends for years. So "don't be friends with him" isn't an option.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Jul. 5, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You do have a right to be upset but I think your takin it up with the wrong person.

    Put yourself in her shoes for a split second...

    She just met this man she's probably crazy over and could see herself marrying one day. Then she finds out he has a really close relationship with his ex...the mother of his child...a women he's obviously been intimate with this is totally new to her.

    How many people do you know that are best friends with their ex?...My guess is not many.

    Sit down with her and explain to her that your not a threat ad you want them to be happy but that you also don't want to lose your best friend.

    NOW no matter what happens with her that does not excuse HIS behavior. He should appoliize to you and have the same convo you do with the GF.

    Romantic relationships seem to come and go these days but friendships are supposed to be forever...GL!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I would ask him exactly how far he's willing to go to make her happy? My Dh's father will do anything to keep his wife happy. My DH is 34 and according to his dad he never comes around because she doesn't like it (also possible, he's lying), he needs to be around his kids, meaning his kids with her. Thing is there is such a huge age difference, my BIL are 20 and 13, its not like he wants dad to come play ball with him! Anyhow, is he willing to sacrafice his relationship with his DD? Some men do. He needs to be clear about the relationship now, not later.

    Answer by Lesli at 10:26 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I'd be pissed. You've had a system going for years and now she thinks it's her place to change it. I hate girls like that. I'd talk to him, seriously talk to him again.

    Answer by sarapurser at 10:28 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • __I would just tell him that he's gonna lose a good friendship over a lunatic jealous gf

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • If she is bad as a girlfriend, she will be worse as a wife. Tell him having a good relationship with you is beneficial to his child, she his child should come before his girlfriend.

    Answer by mancosmomma at 10:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • I think that she needs to get over it because she knew getting in this that he had an ex and a child and if she can't handle it then she needs to leave. Just as my boyfriend has to deal w me having an ex husband. There are issues sometimes but my ex and I are friends of sorts...I suppose. We get along well enough and my boyfriend is ok w that. She needs to get over it....and really, its her problem not yours.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 10:58 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Do you really want to be friends with someone who speaks to you disrespectfully? You can't change him sweetie. Only he can change himself.

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 11:51 PM on Jul. 5, 2009

  • Question Asker here! lol

    Well I just emailed him and put it out there again... I agree with every person that answered this question. He is wrong. I can't change him, he'll just have to decide what is most important to him. Maybe i'm wrong too though. It is a lot to ask of another girl to "share" her BF with another girl, especially when the relationship with the other girl is the kind we have. I want him to have the best relationship he can with our daughter & I def don't want this to affect that. I don't know why it is bothering me as bad as it is though. I guess i'm used to him being there literally every day and now it's nothing. I know he doesn't want that. It's so weird. Thanks ladies... if you have any more Answers, add away!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I'd put it to him very simply that you understand if he needs to back off the friendship, but that he still needs to treat you with respect. You are still the mother of his child. I don't know that you are wrong, exactly, but it IS very unusual these days for people who share a child to be such good friends; most can't get along to save their lives. My own ex and I, if you held a gun to our heads and told us to get along or you'd shoot us, we'd argue over whose fault it was that we were about to die. So, she's probably uncomfortable b/c this is not your typical exes who share a child situation. But, even so, he still needs to treat you with respect, and he needs to put his child first. My concern would be that the gf is starting with trying to get you out of the picture, and next your child.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:20 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • He's two faced and sounds like a coward.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on Jul. 6, 2009