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What do you do to solve whining?

We have a 5 year old and a 3 year old that are perpetual whiners. It can be about anything from that is not yours, please give it back to just looking at them sideways. How do you solve this? It is becoming such an issue that it is putting a strain on mine and my fiancee's relationship. Can someone help us? Ignoring isn't working, whining back isn't working, telling them that we won't answer until they use a big boy/girl voice doesn't work. What do we do about this?

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kmeyer0829

Asked by kmeyer0829 at 12:29 AM on Jul. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I tell mine that I don't understand whinese so I can't talk to them until they talk to me in a normal voice, then I walk away. They don't like being ignored so they change their tune quickly.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:37 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • separate them whenever the whining starts. Eventually, it'll fade out once they realize they're not going to have anybody to play with if they're going to whine.
    sparrowprincess

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 12:41 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I do the same as sammies. I say "I don't know what you're saying. Stop and talk to me normally, so I can try to help you." My son is 3. It normally works.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • my daughter doesnt really whine too much but when she does i give her a choice (she'll be 4 in a few weeks) she can either chose to speak to me like a big girl or go to her room and whine to her barbies.... she usually chooses to speak. :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • We used the "I don't understand you when you whine." and refused to ever give them what they want when they whine. It takes a while and you both have to be absolutely consistant, but it will work.
    Avarah

    Answer by Avarah at 1:37 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Ok, this is what I did. Everytime you talk to them WHINE. Totally exaggerated. Explain that it isn't what they say, it is how they use their voices, HOW they say the words. Good luck.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 1:41 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • In addition to some of the other things mentioned, I tell my daughter that crying or whining is only allowed in her room. It works like a charm. I am super positive about telling her that she gets to whine/cry as much as she wants. It is amazing how fast she stops and uses her big girl voice. You have to be really consistant in the beginning though, or it will not work. My daughter is 2.5.
    squish

    Answer by squish at 3:02 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I agree with the "I don't understand whinning" concept. Just ignoring them doesn't work because they don't know why you're ignoring them. You have to say to them in a strong, firm, but not yelling and not mean sort of tone - "I don't know what you are saying. I do not understand whinning" or "I can't hear you when you whine, I only hear big kid voices."

    Since it's been going on for a while you might want to make a big production out of it. Call a family meeting. Make it very serious. Say - "We have too much whining in this house. You are big kids. From now on: NO MORE WHINING. I do not hear whining, I only hear big kids voices." Then start it immediately.

    Good luck!
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:06 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • tell your children that they need to use their words, you do not understand whining. If one child is whining because his sibling did something teach your child to use his words.  I have twin 5 year old and they love to bother each other.   When they are whining about something I will say ask your brother to stop in a big boy voice. 

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 10:57 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

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