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Am I crazy? It seems like the day I got married my inlaws became different people. & since I had my son its gotten even worse. My mother in law likes to use my son to be condesending. For instance she says things like when I say that he is tired she says to my son "your mommy is crazy, she doesnt know what she is talking about" & then I get to deal with a crabby baby who cant go to sleep once we get home.

Also, the only other granchild they have is a total brat due to their spoiling her and I need advice on how to discuss this subject so that my parentling will not be overlooked bc Im not the one buying everything he wants.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:01 AM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • My In laws are the same. My MIL never lets the baby sleep when she comes over but thats because she doesnt see her but once a week..so it screws up baby's whole day not to have a nap, but at least she has a grandma who loves her. Yes she tells me what to do, but so did my mom on the first kid. They do that because it's ur first or their first and they think u want advice because ur new to this. I'm not new to this becuz I have an 8 yr old from a previous relationship, but my MIL acts like this is my first baby. Just say ya, ya, and the baby has a routine , i assure u i know what to do, and just let her visit with the kid and when she's gone life can get back to normal. However if u have a FIL and a Grandma in law that tell u to buy grandma's house, then do everything they can to make u homeless (FIL and MIL are divorced), and they want to put their grandchildren on the street, then u really have a problem. Don't worry
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 1:17 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • My mother in law used to say stuff like that. I used to respond like, "your grandma is right I am crazy, And I get the final say. :)" Used to shut her up. Good luck. (We are best friends now, I hope you get that from yours eventually.)
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 1:21 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • tell them flat out.....its ur kid not theirs....you will raise him as u see fit and tell them either you understand that he is urs and your hubbys or they can just stay out of his life all together.....
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 7:19 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • OMGosh are we related some how? I don't deal with this any more but I did. I eventually told dh to grow a pair! He handles his side of the family and I handle mine. Unless it is directly related to us then we stick up for ourselves, naturally. Really, I just told my husband if he didn't talk to them I would. Not to be mean but you have to fight back, but nicely. Kill then with kindness my mom always says. Tell her how he is when he gets home. And if she does it anyway, then announce "it's time to leave the baby's tired and we need to go home so he can rest." Then if she insist's on him staying up, you as the mother superceed her opinion and give your child his/her needs. Somehow nicely assertive! It took me a while but my in-laws are great now. Good Luck!
    luvbnmomnwife

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 8:23 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Just take control. Smile and say thank you. Maybe add something like, "You know how moms know their babies better than anyone." Be clear about expectations. Next time he is tired, just leave. You don't need to explain...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:36 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

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