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Am I just a brat?

I come from a family of five kids, there are three older and then me and a younger sister, Viv. When each of the older kids got married they had each other in their weddings, Viv and I were excluded.
We always said we would be in each others weddings. She was my maid of honor(moh). She is getting married now and has asked our oldest sister to be her MoH.
It has really hurt my feelings, we have always the closest relationship of all the sisters.
None of us get along with her soon to be dh, but I have been the nicest about it to her and him. Our oldest sister has been so mean and hateful about him and she has been very vocal in her disapproval of him.

I was asked to be a bridesmaid, but don't even want to be in the wedding because my feelings are so hurt.
So what do I do, do I tell her how much it hurt my feelings, or just suck it up?Am I just being a brat about it? Would it hurt your feelings?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • my feelings would be hurt, so i understand that. not sure why she didnt ask you...but im not sure if it would be worth it to bring it up and make an issue of it.

    Answer by ivelostmyself at 1:48 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • She at least asked you to be in it. Id just suck it up and quit whining. Its your sisters day and she has every right to decide who gets to do what. And it wouldn't hurt my feeling if my lil sis didn't want me as MoH, I'd be happy she wanted me to share in her day. So be happy for her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • A. It is her wedding. Don't spoil it by putting your feelings on it. My maid of honor didn't show for my wedding because she forgot to get the day off. (She babysat.) I told her bring the kid. She still didn't come. Still haven't forgiven her.
    B. You choose a maid of honor because that is the person who has meant the most to you in your life. She didn't choose you. Get over it and hope for blessings on her and her fiance.
    C. Forgive. I'm sorry she did this to you. It hurts, but you need to buck up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I understand why you are hurt. However, in the grand scheme of things this is minor. Honor what you feel towards your sister and go with her choice. Be everything to your sister that you would want her to be to you.

    It's hard to let go of those hurts but try to release and be thankful for all you do have . . . your sister, a chance to be in her wedding.

    Answer by TessLouise at 1:52 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • It really chaps my ass because I didn't really want her as my MOH, but because we always said we would choose each other I did. And she was a complete pain in my ass for my wedding.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • You said you promised each other you'd be in the weddings. Just cause your not moh doesnt mean your not in the wedding. As for you not wanting her it was YOUR choice. So try to be happy shes trying to keep her promise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • My daughter was married 4 yrs ago. She has 2 sisters 1 older 1 younger- both expected to be moh. M daughter chose a close friend instead. Her sisters were bridesmaids. They wereupset at first but got over it and just put it aside - and the day was beautiful. It's not worth the hurt it would cause to make it an issue- just deal w it graciously and consider it part of yr gift to the bride.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • If you said you'd be in each other's weddings, that doesn't commit her to making you maid of honor. In fact, it doesn't commit her to making you a bridesmaid...she could have just asked you to do a reading, and you'd still be "in the wedding."

    You're putting too much energy into worrying about this. Consider this dodged a bullet. Because that's what the Maid of Honor job really is...a big fat bullet. And yes, I did dodge it several times! I'd FAR rather be a bridesmaid who merely has to show up. **grin**

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:48 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • it's not about you, and it's not a contest. it doesn't matter about any of that crap except that you participate in the wedding to show love for your sister.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:43 AM on Jul. 6, 2009