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Do your children hurt your feelings?

It seems that no matter what I do or say my 13 year old son finds fault with it.

Example: Last night I bought him two bottles of Gatorade for football camp. I put them in the refrigerator and told him to drink them today before camp so he is good and hydrated. He wanted to drink one last night and I said they weren't cold yet. He proceeded to question me about where I had bought them and why I didn't buy them already cold. Not one time did he say....."THANK YOU". I finally said, "Surprise! I screwed up again, what more can you expect from the worst mother in the world".

Am I being too sensitive?

 
Dyndudes

Asked by Dyndudes at 9:13 AM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 11 (626 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (43)
  • Sure they do. Kids are just like any other human being and they get entitlement disease as well as selfishness and ungratefulness. Adults do it too. My kids do complain sometimes about things like that and I take it in stride, but after awhile, it tends to build and build and build and you over react just like you did. We as mothers can only take so much abuse. I think sometimes, kids have a hard time stepping back and realizing how good they really have it. I do things for my kids just like you do and meet the same attitude. Usually it just takes one reminder to be brought back to earth and realize that not all moms do what you did for him. Also kids will abuse those whom they know will always be there. A form of endearment, so to speak, but definitely not appropriate. I know your feelings are hurt, but try not to hold onto it too long. Also let him know that he hurt your feelings. Theres nothing wrong with telling him.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 12:12 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Maybe a little too sensitive, but he's being a jerk. I'd stop doing the little things like that for a while. And have a talk with him about being appreciative. He'll surely miss the things you used to do and hopefully gain a little respect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • My kids,, two DD's still hurt my feelings and they are 30 and 25.. If your expecting a thank you from a teen..You will be waiting a long time.. They do not do that tell they are grown...Maybe.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:31 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • My 16 yo dd does that all the time. And I 'm too sensitive, always have been. Something I work on!I
    I do the same thing. Think I'm doing the right thing , trying to be nice and get attitude. Sometimes
    I just stop doing it. Other times I blow up. The long and short of it is it is disrespectful to talk to your parents like that. I know I have been too easy on both my girls and let them get away with too much mouth. But they also know when I'm serious and mean business. I try to keep if fair. Not always easy!
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 9:32 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I would tell him straight to his face that if he doesn't like warm gatorade than that is his problem, & if he wants to bitch about it, then he can go buy it himself. Or i would have poured it out right in front of him depending on how rude he was about it. He somehow learned this behavior. He is either learning it from someone else, or he learned that you are easily hurt & the he can manipulate you & be more in control. Toughen up some. If he bitches about the warm gatorade, pour it out & tell him to go buy a cold one himself. You can MAKE him say thankyou. If he does not, don't buy him anything until he learns to be more appreciative.

    When telling him you are a bad mom, that is almost giving in. This is what he wants to hear, he can now manipulate you & make you think you can do better next time, when your already doing great. Never imply that ever again, you need to be more tough with him.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:37 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • No, but letting your son question you is where you are going wrong. First of all - for some reason, be it nature or a curse - it seems that "mom always get the brunt end of the stick". However, don't let him talk to you like that. In my house there would have been a quick response and action to his behavior - I have two sons (19 & 21) please trust me when I say this; if you let him talk to you like this now (at 13) - he won't magically talk better to you when he's older - you are the mom- it's not his place to question what you do or why you do it. He's being disrespectful and passive aggressive with you; if you put up with it now you're breeding more if it for the future.
    In my house - if this had happened- the boy would have found himself on the receiving end of a quick lesson "You do not speak to me in that tone and you do not question me" if he continued, the dang Gatorade would be trashed. He can drink water
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 9:39 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I get this from my eleven year old. It's hard not to take it so personally but I just have to stop and think for a moment about all the things I never thanked my parents for when I was a kid and how much I appreciate their efforts so much later in life. Kids, especially adolescents, are just bitter little people who are always looking out for number one. Most will grow out of it.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 9:44 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Ok, now I feel better. My 14 year old has turned from sweet kid to total pain in the butt. Its never big stuff, but the little stuff like you mention- gatorade or where the towels are or something. He works hard, never stays out late, etc... but he is a picky little pain- glad I am not the only one.
    teampalmer4

    Answer by teampalmer4 at 9:48 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • op louise2 is right. My kids are 25yo, 21 yo, and 16 yo. Thank yous as teens are hard to come by but not impossible. My 16 year old wants wants wants always. I tell her no it can't be afforded and if she were able to get a job then she still can't get because of cost of monthly fees also for new phones that always come out.

    I'd take care of your yourself your feelings first and then take care of your son's demands. If he's not active daily in chores then don't put out going out of your way. Take him to store for his drinks but send him in. If he asks for whatever, take him if you can but when you can not drop and shop. If you keep doing for him he'll do very little for you and nothing ever for himself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • meant ... If he asks for whatever, take him if you can but when you can't go out for what ever reason, don't drop all and shop for him. If you keep doing every thing for him he'll do little for you cause he knows you'll give in and do it, and he won't learn to do things himself...

    does son cook meals? My adult son has the past couple of years, finishing college and living with us. And my two girls both now are doing far more chores.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

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