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What are the main things that effect the relationship, right after the homecoming from child birth?

I know I get very impatient with my bf, and everyone knows the first couple days probably the first couple of months, are stressful after you come home from the hosp. I just want to know what are some of the things I need to be more patient with, or be prepared more for? So that I'm not chomping on his head everytime something happens ...

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Mamicela87

Asked by Mamicela87 at 11:26 AM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • lack of sleep - lack of motivation- lack of sex drive....one thing that helps- make sure you have people help prepare foods for you guys- or if you don't have lots of people around, make sure that you start making and freezing dinners- dinner is a great time to reconnect and COMMUNICATE :) so don't worry yourself about what to make or clean-up- try to have stuff to just throw in the oven :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • lack of sleep, the feeling that one parent is taking more of the responsibility for the baby than the other one...

    I agree with the PP. Make foods
    christaberk

    Answer by christaberk at 11:32 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • WHOOPS! Hit the wrong button... continued...

    make foods that you can just pop in the oven. Neither of you will feel like cooking for AT LEAST a week after the baby comes.

    Remember to TALK it out...
    christaberk

    Answer by christaberk at 11:33 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • lack of sleep causes a lot of problems. If you can get someone to watch the baby for just a hour or two will help you both a lot.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:39 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Let him help and be a part of everything. So many moms cut dad out of the picture the first few months. Some get mad when a spouse does not do things the way they do then the guy shuts down and doesn't bother to help at all. I did this to my husband. He did not fold towels the way I did, did not give my son his bath the way I did, did not cook things right. I was not very nice and very critical. He stopped helping and worked more to avoid me. He was afraid to touch our son since I criticized him so much. He finally one day let me have it our son was about 5 months old. I complained he never helped me. He told me how he was feeling and then left. He told me he was going to his families for the weekend and I needed to decide if he was going to be a part of things or not. I felt terrible and got my mom to watch our son and went and got my husband. I have not criticized him since and he is a fantastic dad and hubby.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Lack of sleep, being equal partners in parenting, recovering from childbirth, having the household to take care of ...
    I agree with the others, what really helped me was having some meals pre-cooked and froze for hubs to thaw and re-heat, and keeping a supply of simple, easy things on hand to fix. My mil was nice and brought over food - which was nice. She also came over and helped with my kids so I could rest from my c-section, and she was nice and did some laundry for me (I could not go up/down stairs).
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:46 AM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Be flexible and support each other. As other posters mentioned, you are going to be dog tired. That can make you snap at each other. Try not to criticize. When baby is crying and won't stop, don't blame each other for not doing it right. It takes a while to figure out what "right" is.

    Don't have certain expectations. I thought we would at least get to eat dinner together every night, but turns out one person would hold baby while the other ate. And realize it's not always going to be like that. The first couple of months are the hardest, then baby starts to smile and coo and eventually laugh. When you get feedback that you are a good parent, it helps everyone lighten up.
    lvpenguino

    Answer by lvpenguino at 12:11 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • make sure parents and in-laws are not in the way of your relationship with your child and your husband
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • the main thing is that the fathers tend to feel left out! Tht's what i've noticed. Just because they don't do things your way, doesn't make them wrong. Also new dads can be scared of the baby so appear to be "less involved", it doesn't mean that they love the child any less than you do, they are just scared. Also as moms we tend to forget that we were wives first, we tend to forget HOW we got to be preggers in the first place. No matter what, the first year of a childs life is a toughie, but it goes by quickly
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:14 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • no sleep, no energy, no time!
    luvbnmomnwife

    Answer by luvbnmomnwife at 1:24 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

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