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help with SIL

it is getting really old! it seems that none of my inlaws care about our 2 boys, but make special trips, and plans for my SD it is highly getting on my nerves and causing problems with me and SO.. what should i do? example..

our birthday party for the boys is on a weekend when we dont have SD, they are throwing a fit over it, i made the plans way ebfore i knew if we would have her or not, and cant change them.. we are asking her mother if we can have her for the party but if she says no there isnt a thing we can do, thats not good enough for the imlaws, they all want to call her and such, which i dont think they ahve a right, its between the parents, not the inlaws.

so when my sil said she was gonna call the BM i snapped, i told her it wasnt her place and that my SO would take care of it... did i go too far?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • It's not HER place to call no matter what. You and hubby are doing the best you can. I just went through that yesterday with our son's party and the skids were coming but we didn't when. They kept asking if they should call the BM and see where they are. He said no each and every time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I don't see anything wrong with your SIL calling your SD's mom, if they can convince her better than you and your SO then so be it. As long as she's there right?! But about them not caring about your kids, my FIL never comes to see our kids but he drives 5-7 hours to pick up his neice and nephews to take them out for their b-days and he's always sending them money and so on and so on. Anyways so we just stopped inviting them to events and we stopped caring if they cared, the people that do care are always there and never complain, so if they don't want to be involved then to hell with them. When your kids get older you can explain why!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • i still dont feel its her place. to call a woman she hasnt spoken with in 9 years? dosent make much sence to me..

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • First off it's not your place to say anything about any of it. She isn't your child. And it's his family. They have every right to do what they can to get her to her brothers party. Unless HE specifically tells them not to. Especially considering your refusal to make any changes. My question would be if you have a visitation schedule how did you not know it wouldn't be her weekend? It seems like you planned it that way so that she couldn't be there so she couldn't take the attention away from your sons.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:28 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • OP.... i did not plan the party so she couldnt be there, and yes we do ahve a visitation schedule, but during the summer it is differnet than during the school year, so she can go on vecations with her mom and see other family that comes by for the summer.... and yes it is my place, it deals with my family. how am i refusing to make changes? you want me to cancel a party with 75 people that already is paid for? is that really a smart idea? and he ahs told them that they need to stop interfearing in our family affairs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • and jsut to add, i could care less if she "takes attention " away from my boys, the people that really care about them will pay attention to them, and that is all that matters to me...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Jul. 7, 2009