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feeling unhappy

I have been with my husband for 3 years, married for 1 year, and we have a 7 month old baby. Lately I have been very unattracted to him. He is a hefty guy, but always has been. It just seems everything he does now makes me wanna scream, the way he eats a lot, the way he sneezes, breathes, I mean everything he does irritates me. I also am uninterested in having sex. We rarely do, and only when I make myself do it basically. And when we do have sex its really only for him, I get no enjoyment out of it, and it last 2 minutes. There is just so much bothering me about him and our relationship I dont know what to do anymore. I love him, and I want to be with him, but the first sign of an argument and I threaten him with a divorce. I'm afraid if I keep doing this it will end in divorce, and I don't want that for me or my son. Any advice would be great. Thank you.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Well, it may not be all about your hubby. Did you quit working to stay home with the baby? I may be you have some post partum depression, and the only one around to focus on besides the baby is your hubby. Mine is pretty big too, and when our son was a baby, I had zero interest in sex. I could care less. I would say, you need to focus on you. Do what makes you feel good, like go out with a friend, get your hair or nails done, go for a walk alone, etc. You may be resenting him for not helping enough, or still socializing when your not. ( this was the case with us.) Try to focus on you as a person, not just you as a mom or wife. Getting a break regularly might help you feel better about your hubby. Hang in there!
    ladybug4

    Answer by ladybug4 at 2:47 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I am sort of in the same boat...only my dh and i have been together for 8 years and have a 1.5 year old. and my dh is definitely not hefty...he is in the best shape of his life and his body is very attractive....however i have no interest and everything he does irritates the piss out of me. We are dealing with all this right now and dont really knw where we are going to end up. He keeps threatening to leave and i always tell him fine. i wont stop him. idk. ihave no advice...just saying i am thre with ya
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I have feelings like this about my husband sometimes, too. I find it is mainly when I am tired and stressed. Everything he does gets on my nerves. I think it is because my nerves are already overloaded and he just happens to be what I am focusing on. For me what diffuses my feelings is that he also goes away frequently on business trips. When he gets back I realize how much I miss him and how much I love and care about him. All of his good points are right there- that he is a good provider, that he takes the trash out, that he listens when I gripe, that he'll clean up the dishes, and so forth. when you find yourself listing your husband's bad points, make a list of his good points. Then also make a list of your bad and good points. Maybe this will help put perspective on your relationship. A 7 month old can tire you out, try to get more rest, more relaxation.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:20 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

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