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what would you do?

my mother has never liked the decisions I have made and she has always been a controlling woman. well a few weeks ago she reluctantly invited us on a family vacation. we accepted the invitation because we thought it would be a good bonding experience for ds (3 y/o) and his cousins. also it important to us that he makes his own decisions about people and the family. plus my dads 80 with alzhiemers and we want them to have good memories of each other. anyways we spent three days with the family. the first day I was flamed by my mother because I won't let

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • ds spend the night with her anymore (i found out she was leaving him in my fathers care which at his age and condition is too dangerous) I told her my fiance and I are happy to drive ds down to spend the day with her then pick him up. that wasn't good enough for her. she then spent the next few days picking at my parenting and doing everything in her power to undo my parenting with ds (things like giving him gum when I have said no, or taking a life jacket off then letting him play by the water.) my fiance and I got so fed up we left early. I thought she got the point as we haven't spoken since. well this morning she called and left a message asking if we could bring ds down either this week or next. I really don't want to make the effort anymore. I'm ready to cut her out of my family's life but that would mean cutting my dad out too and I don't want to do that. any advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • ds spend the night with her anymore (i found out she was leaving him in my fathers care which at his age and condition is too dangerous) I told her my fiance and I are happy to drive ds down to spend the day with her then pick him up. that wasn't good enough for her. she then spent the next few days picking at my parenting and doing everything in her power to undo my parenting with ds (things like giving him gum when I have said no, or taking a life jacket off then letting him play by the water.) my fiance and I got so fed up we left early. I thought she got the point as we haven't spoken since. well this morning she called and left a message asking if we could bring ds down either this week or next. I really don't want to make the effort anymore. I'm ready to cut her out of my family's life but that would mean cutting my dad out too and I don't want to do that. any advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Well if this was my son i would Go to your parents house for a little let him visit while your there and just talk hang out there for a bit so your sons relationship with your father isnt being effected by this. And at least if your there you can ultimately take over and leave if things go wrong. Goodluck:)
    SammiTaylorTM

    Answer by SammiTaylorTM at 2:51 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I would talk to her... make it very clear how you feel, let her know that if nothing else you are a good mother and she needs to respect your parenting whether she agrees or not! i had to do this with my MIL and it worked... we're not "friends" per se... but she keeps her distance and honors my decisions.good luck!
    VictinaG

    Answer by VictinaG at 2:59 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

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