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What should I do?

My husband, my baby, and I currently live with his mother. My hesitations started when she began trying to tell my husband what to do and what not to do (orders) because that was HER grandbaby.

A week ago she was rocking the baby in our chair in the living room and said "It's okay, mommy's got you." Excuse me? I AM HER MOTHER. Then, after I tried rice cereal and it didn't work (she is 3.5 mo) I said to wait a while. I came home the next day and she was feeding her FRUIT CEREAL.

My sister invited us to move in with her (she lives about .25 mi away), but my husband doesn't want to hurt his mother. At the same time, the more possessive she becomes, the more she becomes self-destructive towards herself. I'm worried that it might jepordize the baby if we stay to long, and the relationship the 3 of us have.

Neither my sister or I have a lot of money, which is the benefit of being here, but at what cost?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Get your own place...problems solved
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Yea, thats not cool....do you think your mother in law just slipped when she said "mommy's got you"? I know my mom has done that before but it was an accident, just second nature I guess LOL. But I would be VERY upset if she went against my wishes after specifically telling her that you wanted to wait to feed her cereal, especially FRUIT cereal, which I think (and this is just my own opinion) at 3.5 mths she is still too young for fruit cereal. Allergies could be a concern. Unfortunatly, when it comes to her telling your husband what to do, ya all are living under her roof so you might just have to suck it up while your there, thats the down fall with living with your parents again. I know, trust me. We had to live with my inlaws for a few months when my hubby got medically discharged out of the Navy until we could find our own place. All in all I hope it works
    angieluv

    Answer by angieluv at 2:54 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I wanted to add also that we don't have a lot of money. My husband was laid off of work in January, and I was cut to part time. We plan to be in town for two years, but after that we are leaving for law school (for me). I thought we could pay back bills w/ his mom.

    My sister doesn't have a lot of money, and I know we would just barely make it by there, but we are just barely making it by here. She doesn't help support us other than putting a roof over our head (not to say I am ungrateful). My sister has a husband and a 5 year old boy, so we would be in her basement (we live in one now). We get along with all of them, and her husband doesn't mind.

    Benefits of my sisters house would include a washer and a dryer (mil has been down for 5 yrs so we use a laundromat), central air (mil has been broken for 10 yrs), and a non leaking roof. I've been trying to fix things, but she gets depressed and sleeps/snips at us. Often
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • You take the baby and go....he can make his own decision. Of course the smart one would be to go where his family is happy....but you gotta do what's best for you and baby. Personally, I would have been gone by sundown the day she referred to herself as "mommy" to my child.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 2:54 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • **Sorry*** All in all I hope it works out for you! At least your mother in law is there for you!! Good Luck!
    angieluv

    Answer by angieluv at 2:55 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • To my anonymous friend; we can't afford to. He was laid off, and I am only bringing home about $600 a month (before taxes), and $180 of that is tied up in my car payment and insurance. I applied for section 8, but I don't think we could afford the utilities, and I was turned down for food-stamp assistance when I applied about a year ago.

    I've been trying to suck it up. I asked if I could see her the other day (I had come home from work and his mom had her) and she told me no, and walked away with the baby.

    My concern with the cereal was allergies, especially because I am allergic to citrus (which limits a lot of fruits I can eat).

    I feel flustered and have no clue what kind we should do! :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Next time dont even ask if you can see your own child, just walk up to her and take her! After all she is YOUR child!! If his mom gets mad at you she will eventually get over it! I think youd be happier at your sisters. Especially since ya all get along! If your husband is afraid he is gonna hurt his mom, just tell him to tell her that you need to take the baby where the celing isnt leaking, where there is cool air and you would save money on not having to take your clothes to the laundrymat.
    angieluv

    Answer by angieluv at 3:06 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • First, don't EVER ask if you can see your baby. She's your baby, take her. With that said, I think you should go to your sister's. Leave it up to your hubby if he wants to join you or not, but I would not stay with someone who seems to be trying so hard to do my job as mother to my child. I would not be able to keep my mouth shut and keep the peace.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:11 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • "I asked if I could see her the other day (I had come home from work and his mom had her) and she told me no, and walked away with the baby. "


    Oh HELL no! I would have said... "Um, you must have misunderstood me. You're gonna turn around and hand MY CHILD back to me.. NOW!!" This lady is manipulating you.. don't let her! Yes, she's giving you a place to stay, but refusing you access to your child is psyco! Put your foot down, honey.
    brandyj

    Answer by brandyj at 3:18 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • First, apply again. WIC income is anything lower than $2800 a month. $1900 for Food Stamps. You definitely qualify now even if you didn't a year ago. Second, if anyone told me I couldn't see my own child and walked away with her, they'd be peeling their face off the wall. Forget the cereal. This woman is a freak. She has a serious control issue. Tell your husband, you love him dearly and you appreciate the fact that his mother is helping you, but your sister's house has a healthier living environment for everyone with air conditioning and a ceiling that doesn't leak and you'd be saving money by not going to the laundromat and he needs to think of his child, not his mother. It's clearly a desperate attempt on her part to not let him go. If he feels bad, that's his problem. You will need to make the decision to go without him.
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 3:33 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

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