I found my real dad in a state jail and he gets out in febuary and i am scared to meet him the last time i seen him was when i was 5 and my mom left him without a word i dont remember him at all and i would like to get to know my father and his family. His dad is dead and his mom is getting old so i want to b4 she dies to. Has anyone ever meet a parent they dont know? how did it go? What do u talk about? should i take my kids the first time or wait tell i get to know him? My dad was adopted as a kid so really i have 2 grandmas to meet and im just scared
Humble Pie Alert, Ladies!
I believe this young lady put this in the adoption category, because her step-dad adopted her. This is more of a divorce situation, and may not be the typical adoption scenario that we are all used to here. It appears that her mom and step-dad raised her, and now that she is 18 with 2 babies, she wants to meet her dad. (I think empathy comes before educating on politically correct terms, in this situation.)
Onethentwins-Do you have people in RU group who are in divorce situations reuniting with birth parents? I am sure there are still helpful stories, just wondering how many like in her situation.
I, too, jumped the gun on this one, and deleted my original response. It helps to view the profile, LOL!
Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:22 AM on Jul. 7, 2009
Hi. Congrats on finding your father. I'm at the other end of things to you. I am reunited with the son I gave up for adoption. I run a group here on cafe mom called "Adoption Reunion". There are plenty of adoptees there that you can talk too. it's an open group if you want to just lurk for a while. http://www.cafemom.com/group/14715 I don't think you should take your kids on first meeting. It's very intence and they might make it more difficult for you to talk. Good luck!
Answer by onethentwins at 7:00 PM on Jul. 6, 2009
oh and fyi. Using the term "real" to describe a parent is not considered politically correct in adoption as it could hurt the other parent who then feels "unreal", or the adoptee who considers both herself a real family member to both birth and adoptive family. Birth or natural parent, and Adoptive Parent are the common terms. Hope you don't mind me telling you but some people here can get really upset about it :)
Answer by onethentwins at 7:05 PM on Jul. 6, 2009
Answer by NovemberLove at 2:12 AM on Jul. 7, 2009
Lacrisha, if you feel comfortable using the word, that's what matters, only you know what you deal with in your situation.
Answer by EleeB at 3:57 AM on Jul. 7, 2009
Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:15 AM on Jul. 7, 2009
Answer by frogdawg at 10:47 PM on Jul. 7, 2009