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Why HER?

Ok, my boyfriend and I have an different kind of relationship. We're in love, committed in the fact that we won't leave each other, but we have an open type of relationship. What that means to us is that we are open to enjoying threesomes together, a little bit of "swinging" and sex outside of the relationship as long as whomever it is that's getting lucky calls the other one and asks if its ok each and everytime, if the answer is no, its no. This works for us, we enjoy it.

BUT there was a girl he's been involved with from before we were together and I hate her. When he first started seeing me, he was seeing her too. She has other boyfriends, but is drawn to mine. I hate her. She's like 21 - we're in our early 30's and between us have seven kids, including the twins I'm pregnant with. I've told him, not her - just don't and he respects that, but he often asks me why her and I can't be friends. con't below


Asked by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I understand,,She is just not a I want to have sex with her girl..She is an EX..EX's are off limits..

    Answer by louise2 at 3:40 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • He needs to let her go. You don't like her, you don't like her. End of story. He's being a pig for not letting her go.

    Have you explained to him the why? If so, then he should be in the doghouse until he obeys.

    Answer by preggoandfat at 3:35 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I'm not the type to make a man choose, but I told him he might have to make a choice. He said I win hands down and I believe him. But what I want to know is what is the f''''ing attraction? I'm open to so much, just not HER???? Can it really be that good? And what the hell does she want with him, we have SEVEN KIDS!!! She keeps leaving bitchy little comments on his myspace directed at me. Wtf? I feel like confronting her.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 3:40 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Eh, was he dating her when she was a minor? She probably likes saying Daddy and sounds like she means it.

    Answer by preggoandfat at 3:46 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Oh wow, I just noticed that I asked the question anon and then forgot to click anon when I finshed my story, lol! Oh well, guess this cat's out of the bag, lol. Yeah, I know what we're into is not the norm, but it works for us. Sometimes I think he just likes that little streak of jealousy I get when it comes to her (he doesnt see that from me any other time.) Idk, but I want to let him know that I am serious as hell that this would be the one thing he could do that would really hurt me. I think its because when its sex with other people, its just sex - our feelings are reserved for each other. He cares about her as a friend and she is "in love" with him and those are lines I don't want to see blurred. I can see what he likes about her, but why she wants him, idk. He's incredibly hot to me, but he's a little chunky and a lot older than her... She hate me just as much as I do her, so why would I want her around my man?

    Answer by MommyAddie at 4:07 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • No offense but that's what happens when you have 3somes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Ok so there aren't seven kids on your page and on your page u say u and hubby are splitting up and you are having another guys twins

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • ask him why does he care what he should care about is that you said not her and respect that.

    Answer by melody77 at 6:26 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Yeah anon 4:42 - if you READ in earlier in this question, I wrote that we have 7 kids BETWEEN us. I have twins adopted at birth, he (boyfriend) has three children from being married for 7 years, he and I are now having twins in January. I am going through a divorce, but my marriage has been over for a long time.

    He and I talked about this today, he's being receptive to my feelings and uncomfortableness. He said of course he choses me and that its really just sex between them so he will cut off the friendship. I'm more annoyed at her because she leaves catty little comments directed at me, etc. I realize this comes with out lifestyle, but I still needed to vent a little.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 9:00 PM on Jul. 6, 2009