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At what point should a woman no longer have the option?

I was reading a question in the Relationships section where a woman has gone back to an extremely physically abusive husband. The police document these occurances, and women's shelters give resources to battered women...but neither will stop a woman from going back to a man that they know might kill her. Should there be a law stipulating that after a man has a history of beating on a woman, that she is forbidden from going back? And what about a woman with kids...Is it already a law that children can be taken from someone who stays with a man who beats her in front of the kids?


Asked by brandyj at 3:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Level 21 (10,228 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (33)
  • Unfortunately you cannot legislate common sense into anyone.

    It's common sense that fire burns so you keep away from it. But some people DON'T get that and keep sticking their singed fingers back into the flames.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:07 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • ANYBODY IN ABUSIVE SITUATION SHOULD HAVE THE OPTION ALWAYS . And no we don't need new laws. Why should be kids taken away from ?
    It is very easy to judge somebody,we never know all the details or what is going on in somebody's life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Your totally right, but thats taking a persons freedom away thats why they don't do it, all they can do is try to talk them out of going back. Also if they kids have never been harmed then it's ok for the kids to be around them. I've never heard that law, I've heard that if he doesn't hit the kids then there is no issue between him and the kids. I think there should be something like you've had this many issues with beating women so now you have to start going to anger management and/or if he has so many issues from one woman then they automatically make a restraining order for him not to be around her and for her not to be around him, so there will never be issues between then again. That might be able to get passed without it taking away someone's freedom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Oh yes, we definitely need MORE laws to govern what used to be our personal rights.

    *rolls eyes in sarcasm*

    Answer by fluud7 at 4:04 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Would you stop someone from commiting suicide? I would! Going back to a man that nearly choked her to death is the same thing as thinking suicide. A woman in that state of mind is not thinking clearly and refuses to see the consequences!

    Answer by brandyj at 4:08 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • OP do you understand that men are sometimes victims too?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Ok... I'll clarify for you Anon :09... no one has an excuse for going back to someone who beats them. It defies logic. I don't feel bad for the men in those situations either, sorry. It makes no sense why a grown man lets a woman smack him around. My husband had a friend like that. The guy was 6 ft, 200lbs...and let his 5'3 105 lb girlfriend slap him in the face. She even punched him in the side of the head one night because they were in the car together at the time. I said to my DH, "She may think she's got him pegged, but one of these days he's going to snap and knock her head off."

    Answer by brandyj at 4:18 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • No, you cant. Its not right to make laws on a persons free will and choice. Granted, it might be stupid and thoughtless and irrational, but its still their free choice. Whose to say shes not thinking clearly and how do they make that determination? It opens up a whole new section of the justice system to evaluate people and make decisions. As far as the children go, yes they are supposed to be protected by DFCS or CPS or whomever the governing dept is in that area. I think that its already in place that a person can lose their children for having them in an abusive home even if its not them whose being abused directly, but in reality it is. If this were possible, I would have jerked my best friend out of her marriage and home and protected her, but sadly she keeps on trying. He has stopped hitting her and now hes verbally abusive and suicidal. I told her she cant save him and Im not sure she believes me.

    Answer by momofsaee at 4:28 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • "He has stopped hitting her and now hes verbally abusive and suicidal. I told her she cant save him and Im not sure she believes me. "

    simple frown  That's so sad!


    Answer by brandyj at 4:33 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I wish my mom hadn't had the option to keep the cycle going for those 15 lovely years we spent in hell. Maybe it would have kicked her in the right direction instead of seeing all that I did. Just my opinion, but there was not help in the 70s and 80s. I don't have an answer, but know this type of man DOES NOT CHANGE. He just gets better at what he does, and the woman tries to hide it better. Do I sound angry? I am, and I'm 37 now. It never ends and it is always there. Thank God I did not follow her example.


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 4:35 PM on Jul. 6, 2009