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My husband and i are currently seperated

i kicked him out because he was cheating.we have 2 kids together and he comes to visit the kids.I would forgive him if he was remorseful,but im making it a bit easy for him were actin as if nothin happened.im dissapointed in myself,cause i have even cooked dinner for him and hung out as if we were friends knowing he doesnt want to be with me.Im setting my self up for a trap.I dont know what to doShould i just let go????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Yes you should. Since he's coming over and being chummy and acting like all is good in the world. You should tell him you have a date and ask if he'll babysit. If he does care for you, it will bother him that you're going out with someone else.
    GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • <----- been there,done that.would he cook for you?probably not.If you want him to be remorseful ,show him what he has lost.have him pick the kids up while you go out.be all dressed up, and ignore him,only talk to him about the necessary things...the kids.Go out, have a good time, enjoy your new freedom and begin a new chapter in your life! I have always said, the best way I got back at my ex for all the dirty stuff he did to me was by me moving on and being happy.Good Luck.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:57 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Maybe you have to let go of your feelings, but if the two of you can manage to get along like that, keep it up. Even if it's superficial, better for the kids than fighting.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 4:10 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I agree with the above. Move on. Pick yourself up and take charge. Show him you're glad his cheating heart is out of your life. Kimberly is right. Every ex boyfriend I had always asked me back because I wasn't sitting home waiting for them. I moved on and wasn't depressed. They couldn't believe I moved on so quickly and every time I'd say: Your loss. AND absolutely DO NOT cook dinner for him. LOL Be polite in front the children. Never lose it or speak ill of him in front of the kids. Start going out with girlfriends or having them at your house when he takes the kids. Good Luck :)
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 4:12 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • As long as there is any hope at all for saving the marriage, I would keep trying to be friends and find common ground. Your children deserve for you to give it your very best effort. He is the man you chose to be their father, so there must be some good in him somewhere. Find it, compliment it, and encourage more of it. Infidelity does not have to spell the end of a marriage.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:37 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • you need to be very clear with him about what you want to do... if you want to reconcile the relationship, pretending nothing happened isn't going to work. it's okay to not talk about the problem every time you're together, but figure it out. sounds to me like you are waiting on him to make the first move... well... he's not going to do that if it looks like you're just on the road to forgiveness. certainly he doesn't want to pour salt in a wound and doesn't want to ruin a good situation (dinner). forget the limbo crap... make a decision, find out what he is willing to do that is acceptable to you and move on from there.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:50 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • As long as you realize you aren't going to be together anymore you have the perfect relationship for the kids. You are getting along like parents should. Keep the friendship but don't have sex with him.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 9:09 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

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