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What would you do if you BF/SO/or husband said this to you.

I'm in a relationship with a guy. We've been together for over two years now. I asked him if he trusts me and he said just said "I don't know who I can trust anymore"

Am I not supposed to be mad about that, or what...

He said he didn't know because I told him about a dream I had about an ex that he doesn't like.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • IMO, it means that he's with you but he's not "really" with you. When you don't trust someone you hold part of yourself back as a way to protect yourself, and leaving yourself open for lightning to strike.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Well I think that if you told him about it he shouldn't feel weird about it. Maybe if you told your sister and she told him then he could be cranky about it.(just an example)

    Answer by OwensMama824 at 4:16 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • #1 Your NEVER EVER tell a boyfriend about a dream that you had about an EX. #2 Your boyfriend sounds like if you have given him no reason not to trust you then he has TRUST ISSUES. He should get help for that or your relationship is gonna have alot of issues in it. I do know from experience, I call him my EX BOYFRIEND.(Understand what I'm saying)

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I would tell him..."Your basing your trust of me, on a dream I had". He has to be kidding..Don't tell him anything anymore..Sense he takes things the wrong way.


    Answer by louise2 at 4:17 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • My SO has basically told me the same thing, and it's frustrating. He's been cheated on by everyone but me, but he knows I cheated on someone back in HS and he hangs all over it. He's accused me of cheating on him at least 3 times, usually with one of his friends, and it's always completely unfounded. We've been together for 5 years and he still doesn't fully trust me. I've come to terms with the fact that it's not my fault, it's just his issues that he needs to work through, and he hasn't been so suspicious lately, even though we recently were separated by circumstances for 6 months. He never even brought it up. That, to me, is a sign that he's beginning to finally let go of his insecurities.
    If your SO has a bad past when it comes to being cheated on, it could take awhile, and the only advice I can give is to be patient and if you're flirtatious like I have been known to be, tone it down a little

    Answer by motherofanaries at 4:19 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • My Dh was like this, still like this, sort of, he's getting better. Only he doesn't get jealous like that so for him its not about cheating so much as "you are either with him or against him". And any sort of "disrespect" can mean you are against him and he should only rely on himself. He was brought up not to trust anyone. He refuses to trust even his mother or his grandmother and I don't blame him. They are very fickle and see nothing wrong with him not trusting them! They are the type of people who keep track of any favor they do for you, and then forget all the favors you have done for them. They believe he was brought up perfectly! Its sickening. Its one of our bigger problems, because in my family we trust one another, don't keep track or score and just help out for the most part (there are a few who have different priorities). Its taken Dh almost 14 years to understand that mentality even a little bit.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Agreed. NEVER tell a boyfriend about dreams with ANY guy! LOL. And I also agree, if you haven't given him any reason to distrust you, then he has trust issues (which many of us have) so you guys need to really work on that, cuz it won't get better.

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 5:30 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • why would you tell him about a dream you had about another man? What if he told you he dreams about his x?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • 'Supposed to be mad' is such a strange phrase, to my mind. It's almost like you're 'supposed to go the speed limit, but haven't managed to lately...'

    I wonder about the responses you've received... it doesn't seem to have occured to anyone that you might feel privileged to be in such a trustworthy place with this man that he tells you the truth, not some happy little lie made to manipulate your feelings for him.

    Of course, then I wonder what you asked such an insecure question for. What were you hoping he'd tell you? Would you have believed him? Insecurity has its own suspicious paranoia...

    It's kind of an impossible question to get a real answer to, don't you think? Would you believe him if he said yes? Do untrustworthy people tend to tell the truth? Do untrustworthy people expect the truth? Is this some kind of complicated ance or game with steps or plays?

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:48 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

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