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What should I do? Possible affair early in relationship....

I have been with my husband for 15 years.We have been married for 9 years and living together for 14.When we met, he said that he had been with someone else recently. But from the time we met I was under the impression we were an item. We celebrated our anniversary on the day we met. I said I would never be with someone who had cheated on me.Saturday night we were with friends and talked about when we all met.He said he had been dating me and 2 others and had sex with them up until a month into the time we were dating.We did not had sex then. I blew up and he said he told me long ago.I have memory problems from Fibromyalgia but I cannot believe that I suppressed this memory.He is not someone to lie.I said I thought he might be having an affair because he always comes home late.He denied it and was shocked.He thinks it is not his problem that I don't remember.I feel that if the foundation is not solid, how can we go on.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Jul. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • That was 15 years ago. You both remember it differently. Let it go.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I agree with Anon.

    Answer by Christina807 at 9:26 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • In the years you have spent, has he shown himself to be dependable, loving and caring? If so, I would move on from that. A lot of time has gone by, and what you have built is stronger than the minor details of the beginning. That's JMO, but I wouldn't read too much into it personally.

    Answer by Emuu at 9:38 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Good grief, let it go. It's in the past. he's been a good boy since you've been married. Be thrilled with that.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:53 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • He has been a good husband overall. But he has had his moments. When our daughter was born 7 years ago and he was laid off he climbed onto the roof of our house and our friend talked him out of jumping. When our son was born 4 years ago he dropped a plate near him because he was angry at something I said and the glass broke near our 10 day old son. He was fine but I freaked out and grabbed the kids. He thought I did not trust him with our son and attempted to jump out the window as a held onto him. He threw a picture frame out the window in December in Boston. Almost 2 years ago he kind of told me to move to my mom's house when I was first diagnoed with Fibromyalgia and was really sick. He said he would take care of the kids which was a joke because I was with them all day while he was at work. He was not supportive when I was in the most pain. We have moved forward since then and things were getting better for us

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Con't: over the last year. But we have not been happy. Our kids have developmental delays and are a handful. We used to be a great couple before the kids. We never have time to do anything we used to do. We try to do date night and do things together when the kids go to bed. But since I have been sick, I have had less energy for anything. I am trying to be there for him, but I know he needs more from me. Our sex life has been not good for awhile. He wants it all the time and I have no interest most of the time. I try to get myself in the mood once a week, but I am not very involved in the process. I think I am depressed and have been trying to get some help. Though I am so much better than a year ago. I am just very hurt right now. I do love him and cannot imagine divorcing. I went through old cards from him and cried for awhile today. Thank you for your thoughts.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

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