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My sister's 16 year old friend is being abused by her parents. What should my mom do?

She came over about two weeks ago with bruises and scrapes all over her face, at the time she told my mom that she had fallen down the stairs. It didn't add up so my mom kept pressing it over the next week. She slowly admitted that her parents have been abusing her, her whole life. She said that the bruises were caused by her dad beating her so bad that she went unconscious. She said that has happened to her many times throughout her life. He has hit her with a belt over and over until her whole body is bleeding. She is afraid her dad will kill her.
My mom is hesitant to call the police because they will take her statement and send her home. Without physical evidence they won't arrest him right away, if ever. CPS will "investigate" and since they seem like a nice family won't do anything to help her. My mom and the girl are both worried that her dad will kill her if he finds out she went to the police.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Jul. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (28)
  • CALL CPS! OR THE COPS! why would you let a 16 year old go threw that?! I wouldn't of let her go back home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Your Mom should have called while the bruises were fresh.... it sounds like the girl won't lie about it if CPS comes to investigate (since she confided in your Mom with just a little prodding)

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 10:42 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Anon you did not read it thru. The cops will only take her statement. They don't do anything further until they have evidence. Same with CPS. CPS will investigate and then come back in two weeks to check up. The children aren't removed from the home unless they have prove of abuse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • If this is true she needs to fill out a police statement, call CPS and be removed from the home to somewhere safe. I say IF because, I just don't believe it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Veronica my mom didn't know the bruises were caused by her parents until almost 2 weeks later. By that point they were gone.The only thing the girl would tell my mom at the time was that she fell down the stairs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • I agree, take the 16 year-old to the police station if they need proof. Don't let her go back to that house. The child should try to get emancipated from her parents if she can. If it were me I'd let the kid stay at my house for as long as needed. I would never let a child go back to a situation so volatile.

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:45 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • CPS does not just remove kids. My friend was horribly abused. When they came to investigate they found marijuana in the house, the kids were obviously neglected, the house was TERRIBLY dirty, the police had gone to the house several times for domestic violence and their teen daughter was obviously doing meth. They did NOT take the kids. They said they would come back to check up 2 weeks later and look through the house again. They told the mom the house needed to be clean and the drugs need to be gone.
    Those kids have NEVER been taken by CPS. They still live with their parents to this day and their living conditions have not improved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Your mother should have called the police while the bruises were prominent. I would have your mother take her to the police station. CPS can remove a child if they have enough evidence and a beat to shit 16 year old with that story is enough evidence. My stepson got taken from his mother's house because he had hand print bruises on his arms. It was an innocent enough circumstance, he had slipped getting out of the tub and she grabbed his arms to keep him from going down. The daycare called CPS and explained that he had been at his mother's house the night before and that the bruises hadn't been there the day before. We were not allowed to take him back there until the investigation was complete.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 10:48 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • OP here
    beckcorc I agree. And my mom has already told her she can stay at their house forever. The girl is working on bringing her stuff to my mom's house without her parents finding out. The problem is the law. You can't just take someone else's child and if the girl ran away she would just be returned to her parents.
    The big problem here is the time between reporting it and when something actually gets done. If she goes home, even for a day, with her dad knowing she called the cops her life would be over.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

  • Perhaps because my stepson was so young is why he got removed right away? He was 4 at the time. Or perhaps the way our system works is a bit different. I am not sure, but we had a case worker at our house that day that the daycare worker called and explained the situation to my husband. It took about 3 weeks before he saw his mom again.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 10:52 PM on Jul. 6, 2009

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