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if mom knows, should dad know too?

my ex-husband and i are divorced. my teenage daughter uses this to her advantage. i punished her the other day and last night she packed her stuff to move in with her dad. i told her she is free to go with him when her punishment is over, but she has to ride out her punishment to face the consequences of her actions. by then, im sure she will change her mind. i really dont want her to leave. should i tell her dad what she has done wrong, so we can both deal with the discipline?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:53 AM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (15)
  • I would, especially if she is wanting to move out because of whatever she did. He should be aware of the game she is trying to play.
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 7:01 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Yes, absolutely.
    ap9902

    Answer by ap9902 at 7:03 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Yeah I would tell him as well.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 7:16 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Yes you should. I think both parents should always be informed with what is going on good or bad. Trust me from experience, if she goes she will be back. I did this to mom my at age sixteen and I was back home within the month.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 7:20 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Yes, he should know. She wants to move in with him so you can't punish her, so he needs to know so he can pick up where you have to leave off. Just as, if she DOES move in with him, he needs to keep you informed so that when she decides to come back to you, you can pick up where he leaves off. She needs to learn that even though you guys are no longer married, you are still a united front when it comes to her.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:50 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • You are no longer in a marriage together, but you are still parenting together. You will have to work together as a team and make it clear to her that there will be no playing both ends against the middle..........
    Tell your husband why you were disciplining her, and then come to an agreement over what will happen next. You have to present a united front when it comes to parenting or else there are WAY too many loopholes for your daughter to slip through. You both love her and that needs to be the focus. Once she figures out that you may not be Mr. and Mrs........but you are still Mom and Dad......well, you should see everyone settle into their new lives. Good luck!
    Foster_Mom

    Answer by Foster_Mom at 8:43 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • He needs to know what she's pulling and even though you guys aren't married anymore you need to show a united front.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:46 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I think if it's something major you should tell her dad. My dd, who is 14, tries this with her dad and I, we fill each other in, and uphold each other's punishments.
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 8:57 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • My kids never wanted to go move in with their dad, so I never faced that situation. However, I'd probably tell Dad anyway about a situation that brought on a punishment that has her wanting to move out. Personally I made many attempts over the years to get Dad to take some sort of active role in the lives of his children, but he could not/would not bother. Now Dad pays the price for that because they are adults who see him as self-absorbed, foolish and stubborn about his foolish choices. My daughter, 26, nails it when she says he is emotionally an early adolescent, and it is clear that she is repulsed.

    divinity80921

    Answer by divinity80921 at 9:21 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • YES! This will prevent her playing you and him against one another. Especially if this has been a problem in the past. Hes still her parent and needs to know plus it would be great if he would back you up and not go against your rules. This will help your daughter know that she cant just get her way by going to live with dad.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:24 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

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