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I need some opinions about this situation rather than just my own

We have some friends who have two kids that pal around with my kids. the kids are very thin. When they come to my house they eat like they are starving so I just feed them. My kids have told me that their mother practices strict portion control they are allowed to drink only water or milk, there is no snacking and their meal portions are very small. Dad is average size and mom is overweight and they are well to do.
The question is:
Is she parenting like she should keeping the kids from being overweight?

Why is she the only one overweight and don't the kids see that?
Do I say something about how much they eat at my house?
Will she stop letting them come over because I feed them sodas, chips, whatever?
Or is this a form of abuse?
I have to admit it bothers me that they are so thin, and mom is not-at all.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • she is expecting them to eat like her because she is overweight and probably trying to loose weight. what she is missing is that her children are still GROWING. they need the nutirtion and the fat...not her. i am sure that her kids arent going to tell her that you are giving them treats, that would take away their only source of nutrition. if you think they are being abused call CPS. if you feel comfortable talking to the mom try that first. if you both go to the same church perhaps you can talk to a counselor there and ask them to talk to the kids mom/dad. it is a tough call. you know more than any of us what is going on. trust your instinct. good luck.
    JessieK79

    Answer by JessieK79 at 9:59 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • How close are you to them? Who are u closer to, the mom or dad?
    Nellie1986

    Answer by Nellie1986 at 9:51 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • call cps
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I tell my adult dd to keep it to herself when neighborhood kids c ome over and eat like they are starved and just feed them. If you see they are emaciated or sickly looking then call cps.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:54 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I would just feed them. She may be trying to do what she thinks is right because of her weight problem. But I don't think strict portion control is right. My kids are almost snacking and drinking all day and are still small, but I only give them healthy snacks like fruits and veggies. They never have sweets or on occassion will have cookies.
    Mommy2LnJ

    Answer by Mommy2LnJ at 9:55 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I think your wrong for feeding her kids junk food,, and you know she only feeds her kid healthy foods. he kids not eating junk food is not the issue here. I.f you think she is starving her kids Call CPS on her.. About her weight,,,She might have a medical condition.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:56 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • the mom might fear that he kids will go threw what she went threw. ( remember school kids can be mean ) she might see it as shes doing them good, even if shes not. but the kids doc should point out they need to gain weight if he feels they do or not. maybe then she will listen. heatlthy kids are good but depriveing them also dosent help. they could end up bingeing down the road. even at your house. now for u i know how u feel but also keep them with portions like a baggie of chips instead of allowing to have whole bag. maybe more fruit or jello but its your money your spending on other kids to. and i dont think telling her how they eat at your house is gonna do good like u said she might not allow them over for fear of they will eat things she dosent want them to have. hmmm its a tough question...wish i had a good answer for u...its hard when one parent is over weight, and fear there kids will be the same....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • HAve you actually seen this yourself? I am on the heavy side and my three kids eat like it's their last meals and are skinny. They can eat all day and all of them are thin. You cant necessarily base that on not eatting properly. And they go to other people's houses and eat them out of house and home if allowed too. As for the drinking thing my kids only get water, milk and some juice a day. I don't keep kool aide, soda and such in my house. And I don't have junk food either. I say don't say anything to the parents and continue having them over and let them eat unless you just invite them over so you can force junk food on them. Maybe the just eat healthy and not junk food and that helps keep them thin. And keep an eye on them. I mean are they sick alot? Does their skin look shallow and their hair dull? If their not eatting properly those would be some signs to look out for.
    pagirl71

    Answer by pagirl71 at 9:58 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • omg i dont know who you are but this sounds exactly like my sil and her kids.i talked to my other sil and she said dont get involved cause she kind of plays the crazy card also.the mom is very into what the kids eat and what they dont.she is heavy.the kids do also look emaciated.i already got into trouble once cause i think the kids have some sort of learning dis.i mentioned it and omg ill never do that again she didnt talk to me for 2 yrs.well i still think that.my husband even noticed something was wrong.they look like they have rickets.i do keep my left eye on the kids and if i think something is turning really bad im going to call the school.
    nana77500

    Answer by nana77500 at 10:08 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I agree that you are wrong for feeding her kids just junk food. Great that you are feeding them, but make it cheese and crackers, fruit, fresh vegetables with dip (if you want), grilled cheese sandwiches, something nutritious. Naturally they are drawn to chips and candy and snack foods- these are full of salt and sugar and are addictive in a way. Sodas- they don't need them, give them milk, juice, water. You are not doing them a favor by giving them sweet or salty treats.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:18 AM on Jul. 7, 2009