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How do I deal with not being able to have any more children?

I had complications after my daughter was born and I had to have a hysdrictamy. I am only 28 and my daughter is now 3 years old. Most of the time I am fine knowing that my husband and I can't have any more children but it seems like every year around my daughter b-day (6-28-06) I get depressed about it. I haven't been able to find things to really help me deal with the situation. If anyone has any advise I would be happy to hear it. Thanks!

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Asked by mamamonster626 at 11:42 AM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Health

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Answers (2)
  • I'm sorry for your loss. You have a strong nurturing personallity and your daughter surely feels that and your husband too. Maybe become a Fresh AIr Fund parent? The kids are investigated very very well and there's good support for the Fresh Air volunteer parents. Moms are so good at nurturing kids maybe volunteer in either a hospital or nursing home? Volunteers are really appreciated there!! When I was an older teen just had to nurture almost 24/7. I couldn't have a lot of animals but I loved kids and didn't know if I'd ever have any but nurturing life was most important to me so I volunteered in different places for different ages. It was very satisfying for me.

    Your nurturing instinct is so strong not only because you're a mom but because also you just have a strong nurturing personality. I hope you know that. I do have kids but still wish I had more, finances stopped us and age too. .But I went back to volunteer

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Feeling like your choices have been taken away from you is almost certainly 100% of the reason you're feeling depressed about this (or anything else). Feeling powerless is infuriating, and when you are powerless, there is nowhere to go with the anger. You can't fight the righteous fight against reality... so you burn silently in great discomfort until you turn the anger inward, just to stop feeling powerless all the time.

    It helps to acknowledge the fury. Recognizing and experiencing the anger, and appreciating that its source is both rational and real, allows it to naturally dissipate. Even if it feels petty, or silly, or pointless or even hopeless... it's about meeting it and seeing it.

    Then you'll be able to see what you're ignoring when you spend time in It's Not Fair land: reality is continuing while you're distracted by the past. Your daughter is here, now.

    Looking into her eyes, what is missing from your life?

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:52 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

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