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Can you forgive and not forget?

or forget and not forgive?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (10)
  • My DH had an affair not too long after our twins were born, I forgave him, but I find it really hard to forget.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I can forgive, forgetting is a different matter tho. I do tend to remember but they are filed away and arent really thought about much.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 12:03 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • i dont normally forgive or forget..i hold grudges.

    Answer by necro1134 at 12:07 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Absolutely, in fact I would say that is just about all that is possible. I mean if something really hurts you, how likely are you to forget it entirely? You might put it at the back of your mind if you have really forgiven the person but the memory isn't gone. There was an episode of SOAP (I know, quoting such a silly show but it was good) in which a woman confronts her husband about his many infidelities & she explains it very well. She says that she is putting all those memories & hurt feelings in a box & putting the box away on a shelf where she won't see them anymore. But the box is full & if anything else has to be put into it, it will topple over & she won't be able to ignore it anymore. I am paraphrasing, it has been a while. I thought that was a good explanation of forgive & "forget".

    Answer by nysa00 at 12:22 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • For me, the two go hand in hand. IMO, if we forgive, and don't forget, it's always there, and you're always wondering "will it happen again" - this causes there to be mistrust and discord a lot of times. For me, if I haven't forgotten, then I feel that I haven't TRULY forgiven.

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 12:28 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Yes. Forgiving is remembering without malice.

    Answer by Lexylex at 12:42 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Forgiving is against my religion

    Answer by NotPanicking at 12:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I like that lexylex

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I think you can forgive but the forgetting is almost impossible, if some one hurt you, you will never forget it. Do you think about the hurt every moment of everyday No, but it is still there and it always will be. For me the forgiving is the easy part, forgetting or at least not feeling that hurt on a daily basis takes time, but like I said, it is still there

    Answer by midnightmoma at 12:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years. I forgave my ex because if I didn't, I would have become bitter and my children would have suffered. I can't forget what he did to me. It changed me and shaped me into who I am today.

    Answer by tinkerbelle18 at 4:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

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