Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do friends make you feel bad about being married?

So I have this very good friend who is constantly taking jabs at me for being married. I've been married for 2.5 years and I really love it. We now have a kid together and I'm really happy. This friend has been single for nearly 5 yrs. now and will constantly say things like "I'm never getting married, it's so stupid" or when I'll tell her about a fight we had, she'll say "that's why I will never do it. It's so impractical." etc. It's so annoying. I want to say "you're not married b/c you haven't been in a relationship in 5 years!" I know her well, she would totally marry if she found a willing partner. Should I just keep my mouth shut? It's pretty clear she's doing it out of insecurity.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • why aggravate yourself with her? tell her if she bring it up again you will walk. walk away permanently if she does.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I have a friend like that; was always teasing me about showing affection to my husband or doing things for him, etc. I kept my mouth closed and just last month she married a wonderful guy! Now I give her the same jabs she gave me back, with a grin. I wouldn't let her make you feel bad at all, especially since you know she is doing it out of insecurity and not to be intentionally cruel. Unless the words get really annoying, I'd just smile and wait for Cupid to come along :)
    Emuu

    Answer by Emuu at 12:43 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Whew...shes jealous. Thats nothing but plain ol jealousy talking. I think I might find more friends that had more in common with me. Also if you want to remain friends with her, then let her know that her comments are extremely annoying and upsetting. She could be so lucky to be in your shoes and have someone to love her and only her. I dont have any single friends so I dont know what its like, but I really think telling her is the right thing to do.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 12:45 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • I had take what she has to say with compassion, especially since you know her well enough to know that she's insecure about not having been in a relationship for so long! Have you honestly told her why you love being married? I would respond to her jab as if it was a prod for information about how much you like it, like take it seriously but on a positive note. No need to potentially harm the relationship if the underlying reason is that she is insecure about herself.

    The two of you are in totally different times of life / lifestyles too. That must be hard for her to see how you've changed.
    preggoandfat

    Answer by preggoandfat at 12:45 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

  • Next time she tries a snotty put down say "well everyone is entitled to their own opinion on marriage. I happen to be very happy in my marriage and love my hubby. Lets talk about something else now". If she keeps it up you may have to tell her flat out if she keeps taking pot-shots and making rude comments about your marriage you will not tollerate it and end the friendship. You should not have to put up with it, a real friend would be happy that you have a good marriage, and support you - not make petty rude comments.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:23 PM on Jul. 7, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
What should i do?

Next question overall (Toddlers (1-2))
Birthday party?

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN